You deserve the love you always try to offer to others, the same sincere, selfless and genuine affection. However, what we offer does not always return us in the same way, with the same intensity and quality. Life is not a boomerang. What you give does not always come back. Even in this case, we rarely stop trying to offer the best to others.
We've all heard, at one time or another, that to attract someone, you have to do "good" things for that person. We then begin all this neat dynamics to offer the details, the favors, the preferences, the presents, the compliments the most varied …We know that affection is gained with attention but sometimes we do not see the limits of these acts.
And we are not just talking about the "court" process. The world is full of people who give without limits, profiles that are unaware of the fact that giving one's entire soul without receiving anything in exchange at a huge cost. They are people who engage with others with every bit of their being, thinking that this investment is worth it, and more than that. He is worth all the gold in the world. However,in the emotional realm, extreme sacrifices are not always good.They leave behind and seriously damage our psychological and emotional integrity.
"The way we give is worth more than what is given."
You deserve a genuine love, not a pale substitute
The things we take care of prosper. We see it with our plants, when we put them in the sun, water them, remove their dry leaves and place them in larger pots so that they extend their roots. Attention, concern and affection make us grow. The gardener cares about his plants, yes. But we must not forget that the gardener himself needs attention.This is a small detail that we often forget.
There are people who spend years offering a resplendent love, with a huge set of attentions and emotions. But these do not always come back to them with the same positive charge.They are people who, in a certain way, limit themselves to accepting a banal love, a substitute who, instead of feeding them, poisons them.But it does not matter, they accept it again and again. If we ask ourselves now what explains this behavior or staying in non-reciprocal relationships, the answer is much more complex than we can believe.
We could talk about self-esteem, but it's more complicated than that.When these people perform therapy, the first thing that gets the attention of the experts is the flow of internal dialogue of these patients.When we ask them to talk to us about themselves and define themselves, we can hear things like"I'm the second of my siblings and you know, it's difficult, nobody was paying attention to me …", "I'm a salesman, or secretary, I had to start working very early and I was not able to studying, I left a ton of dreams behind me … "
We often see truncated lives.We sense a resigned acceptance and the feeling that deep down, these people consider that they deserve this reality of chiaroscuro. They accept relationships that do not really give them happiness because they do not feel able to aspire to something better. According to them, life has always placed them second: they must therefore accept what is happening.
Nevertheless, and what is exceptional is that they are able to give everything for those who are part of their lives. To offer love and attention is their highest quality, their greatest skill. Without her, they would feel even more frustrated.Share
Give yourself what you need
You deserve the love you give to others. To think that is not an act of selfishness but of integrity, of personal dignity.You have long been the gardener, the only architect of relationships where you have laid the pillars, the concrete, the walls. Only you pay attention that the roof does not collapse, that love is safe. Now, you are outside and the cold burns you.
You deserve the love you've always dreamed of, the one you do not perceive yet. As we said at the beginning, life is not a boomerang. We do not always find what we have launched in the air or in the hearts of others. The boomerang often stays halfway or does not even begin its way back. So,stop.Stop waiting for a reciprocity that does not happen and stop investing your whole being in things or people that do not bring you anything in return.
You deserve a love that does no harm, that fills you and makes you grow.You must be demanding and consider that you deserve it. For that, there is nothing better than to change strategy. Stop giving and get ready to receive. Since you are the greatest expert when it comes to offering this affection that gives wings and turns others into priorities, now, be the receiver of this love. Take care of your roots and take back those dreams that were once cut in half. Put the conformism and acceptance that rust aside.Free yourself to find yourself better.