Why can not I reach orgasm?

Why can not I reach orgasm?

In popular culture, the idea that women have trouble reaching orgasm is widespread. In fact, we often hear them pretending ecstasy in their sexual relations. But is it true? What is real about this statement? Does this happen to all women and all relationships?

The innumerable list of myths about women and their sexual satisfaction is growing every day. The reality is the fact of belonging to the feminine gender does not imply a greater difficulty in reaching orgasm. But, just as in men, they can encounter problems of human sexual response. Read this article to learn more!

"Writing is like making love, do not worry about orgasm, worry about the process."

-Isabel Allende-

How is orgasm happening in women?

For starters, let's understand what orgasm is. It is the phase of human sexual response that appears after desire and excitement. Once it is reached, then come resolution and sexual satisfaction. But, what characterizes orgasm? It is the sensation and the state of pleasure that one attains in relations of this type. It causes a series of contractions in the genitals of men and women.

Now, let's see what myths exist around this phenomenon. First, it is common to believe that one has an orgasm via coitus. Nothing further from reality. Relationships with penetration are not a necessary condition to achieve this feeling of pleasure. And this is not the most common among women. In fact, most of them reach orgasm via external stimulation of the clitoris.

"Eroticism is one of the bases of self-knowledge, as indispensable as poetry."

-Anaïs Nin-

Concretely, this type of stimulation intervenes directly or indirectly, even if one reaches orgasm by the vaginal route. Is the pleasure obtained by external stimulation of the clitoris less than that obtained by vaginal stimulation? No. They can have the same intensity. Just as orgasm can be explosive and punctual, or diffuse and prolonged. One is not more satisfying than the other, they are only different.

What are the problems that women can encounter to reach orgasm?

The problem, during this phase of the human sexual response, is the inhibited orgasm. What is it? In a persistent difficulty or an inability to reach orgasm after a suitable stimulation and a normal excitement phase … If there is desire and the stimulation is adequate, why are we not able to feel this intense pleasure?

Here, the psychological aspect plays a fundamental role. First of all, excessive self-control will significantly affect the sexual relationship. For good sex, the key is to let yourself be carried away. The need for control is often a hindrance to orgasm.

A self-control is very related to the worries, especially during the first relations. What will I think if I do this? Will you want me to do this? Maybe I do it badly or I dare too much? These types of questions, far from relaxing the mind, open the door wide to anxiety. This is why it is so positive to talk about sex, and to do so openly and sincerely, out of personal sexual intimacy or in the context of a different sexual intimacy.

Self-esteem also has a strong impact on sexuality. If we increase it, we will be safer and more satisfied with our body image. Thus, to access this pleasure so characteristic will be easier. Fact, a lack of self-esteem produces not only sexual difficulties but also a great deal of emotional distress. It is therefore important to work on it.

To conclude, there is an additional difficulty: the negative attitude towards sex. If this type of relationship is perceived as dirty or immoral, it will be complicated – if not impossible – to achieve the pleasure and excitement needed for orgasm. But there is a glimmer of hope: today, the conception of sexual relations is changing and they are perceived as natural and inherent to the human condition. They are no longer considered a sin or a kind of diabolical spell that condemns, after pleasure, to hell.

"Sex is part of nature and I get on well with nature."

-Marylin Monroe-

The reality is that sexuality is very important in our lives, just like our social relationships or our professional achievement. Having an unsatisfactory sex life generates a great harm, and it is important to work this type of difficulty to feel better about yourself. Do not be afraid to use a psychologist if you think it is necessary!

Pictures of Toa Heftiba y Seth Doyle

Read also: How important is sex in a couple?

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