The narcissists may be egocentric and exploitative, they captivate us and make us melt with love.
A recent psychological study determined that we were strangely attracted to narcissistic peopleby their egocentric personality, by their domination, and even by their hostility.
Even psychologists suffer from this fascination for narcissistic people and wonder how can these influence so much on others and why they embody so many paradoxes.
The charm of the narcissist
The social psychologist Mitja Back and his collaborators decided to study narcissism.
They asked 73 students, who did not know each other, to introduce each other one by one. The sympathy of each person was evaluated by others by completing different questionnaires, and an evaluation of the narcissistic traits of the personality was performed.
The results showed that:
1. Narcissistic people are more popular. They are considerably more appreciated by others than people who are not narcissistic.
2. Participants appreciate the authority of narcissists. In the assessment questionnaires, students took into account four aspects of narcissism: leadership / authority, egocentricity / self-admiration, arrogance / superiority and the tendency to exploitation.
3. Narcissists like their appearance, the intonation of their voice and the domination of their movements. They often look enchanting and attractive once we know them.
If narcissists are more popular, it's because they know how to use a facial expression and what voice to adopt to inspire confidence, they dress in fashion and are very fun.
obviously, this effect is observable only in the short term. Indeed, the narcissists are quickly unmasked and immediately rejected.
Few people support a friend who takes advantage of them, who is egocentric, authoritarian and arrogant.
The paradoxes of narcissistic people
There are many paradoxes in the behavior of narcissists and in their behavior.
The psychological study identified several questions that she tried to find answers:
- Why do narcissistic people continue to act selfishly when they know that it can ruin their relationships with others?
- Why do narcissists tend to underestimate others when they are admired and rejected?
- Why do not they know when it's time to stop their behavior before being abandoned?
The first two questions can be partially explained by the fact thatat first, this behavior attracts others.
For narcissists, selfish behavior provokes the admiration of others.
On the other hand, underestimating those who reject them is a form of emergency exit to find new "victims" who will adulate them.
Finally, this is the reason why narcissists do not detect the opportune moment to stop before losing their half or their friends.
The attraction that they generate in others can not last infinitely. A person who would like to criticize the attitude of a narcissist, flees before confronting him.
Narcissists and Reality Show: a perfect marriage
Pfor a narcissist, the best way to show up nowadays is the reality show. Indeed, this study clearly demonstrates why narcissists are the perfect participants for this kind of program:
They immediately captivate our attention and sympathy with their safe behavior. Moreover, they are bright and arrogant.
Later, when we discover their true nature, we tend to reject them. All these feelings mean that we can no longer take off the screen.
Applying the lessons of this study, we can say thatdo not encourage narcissists by paying attention to them or provoking them.
They can not only hurt us, but also inexorably drag us into the vicious circle of attraction and rejection.