A message saying"Hello, I miss you"or" how is your day ? "represents a simple gesture that enriches our emotional relationship. Gold,the symbiosis between Whatsapp and the couples and the dependence on this double blue check can sometimes lead us to extreme situations,to dynamics of absolute control, to disputes based on misunderstandings that can end in ruptures.
A recent study published in the journalComputers in human behaviortells us how much our relationship has changed. A survey was conducted among the population of the United States, with people between 18 and 45 years old. The goal was to know the importance of instant messaging services in their daily lives, especially in the relationship with their companion / companion. The result was more than convincing:the use of Whatsapp was essential for this relationship and was a barometer for the quality of Whatsapp.
Text messages are an essential form of communication for many of us.We use this means at the family level, professionally, with friends and with our little friend. The immediacy of the response and the proximity provided reinforce the relationships that are still in the love at first sight phase. However, things seem to get complicated when we refine this link and reach the phase of cohabitation or consolidation.
"The use of Whatsapp can enrich or completely destroy our relationships.According to experts, the use of cell phones and the relationship we have with them is a reflection of our own emotional ties."Share
Whatsapp and couples: how does it affect us?
The text messages are delicately intimate and distant at the same time. They strengthen the relationship, give us a sense of tenderness when we need it most and enrich the bond with the person we love. So we can not erase his magic, extinguish his charm or criticize its usefulness, because he has one. However, this is where the inevitable "but" arrives.Specialized couples therapists are increasingly noticing one thing: this combination of Whatsapp and the couple is often a double-edged sword.
Many problems or conflicts are the direct result of this hyper-connectivity in which we are immersed. Couriers have a curious characteristic: whether we believe it or not,they represent a mirror that reflects our true personality.Our fears and obsessions are channeled there. Just as our ability to respect or not the person and our emotional maturity.
To better understand this point, we need to think about all these ways that Whatsapp affects our relationship.
How Whatsapp intervenes in our relationship
- Constant contact:we can start our relationship by sending messages every half hour. But it is likely that the maintenance of this flow of communication quickly becomes impossible. When that happens, one of the two members will start suspecting, scared or wondering if something is wrong.
- Our resistance is put to the test: this symbiosis between Whatsapp and our couple is always tested with the famous double check blue.Leaving a message as read and not responding arouses suspicion.Sending a message at 6pm and not seeing a double check at 6:15 pm is frustrating and angry for many people.
- Who is he / she online with?Seeing that our partner is in line with someone else leads to situations as incredible as conflictual. Some people stop being productive at work because they watch the moment their spouse connects.
- Whatsapp is not a good system for effective communication:despite all that we can think, this mechanism usually causes constant misunderstandings. It does not happen as often when we are face to face. Direct contact can decipher non-verbal and emotional communication, basic in any relationship.
- Passive-aggressive behavior:many studies emphasize this point: the use of Whatsapp is an ideal way to reveal these passive-aggressive behaviors allowing to manipulate the other and to arrive at situations as painful as immature (and not assertive).
Social networks, like the use of messaging services, are channels that unconsciously reflect our insecurities. That's why we see cognitive responses based on jealousy, suspicion, and obsessive thoughts filled with mistrust.Share
When we carry our love in our pocket
The fact that we have a laptop or a computer does not mean that we are able to use it properly. Whatsapp is not an easy-to-manage email service.Not when the messages move through a channel that we do not control all the time: that of emotions.We carry our spouse in the pocket. The love of the 21st century is portable and we do not always make good use of it.
The fault does not lie with new technologies or constant progress.We, ourselves, are the guilty ones who are not in sync with these fabulous resources. Resources that ultimately exist to make our lives easier.At present, the combination Whatsapp-couple once again underlines our insecurities, our immature voids and obscure. Those who push us to doubt the other and turn jealousy into a weapon of mass destruction through text messages, voice messages and emoticons.
Let's avoid these situations. Let us educate our young people, make this resource a rewarding mechanism for our relationships, but starting from ourselves. By working our emotions, our trust in each other. Realizing that the real communication, the most satisfying, is the one that is done through the eyes and not a double blue check.