To want and not to be able is a sensation that many women live during their sexual relations.
Looking for orgasm that does not happen or have very weak feelings is a difficulty that many people face today.
Orgasm has an indisputable importance in relationships. It is the summit of the mountain of pleasure and even if enjoying the path is as important as reaching the end, it is pleasant and satisfying to be able to conclude the climb and enjoy the views that the mountain offers us.
Failure to reach orgasm is not necessarily experienced as a great pain.
Often, it is experienced as something shameful, the person avoids talking about it and refuses to ask for help. In this way, the problem becomes chronic and the solution is more and more complicated to find.
I never had an orgasm
Never having experienced this explosive sensation is a much more common situation than one might think.
In fact, around 10% of women have never had an orgasm in their lives and between 10% and 42% have difficulty achieving it.
Anorgasmia, which is the difficulty in reaching orgasm, is the most common sexual dysfunction in women.
This sexual dysfunction is characterized by the absence or the delay of the orgasm, or by feelings of pleasure very weak.
It is not a question of something punctual, but of something prolonged in time, which causes pain and anxiety for those who suffer from it.
Do I have a problem?
The differences from one woman to another, and even from the same person, are always considerable.
There may be times when the pleasure is much higher and others where it is impossible because of stress, pressure and other causes.
It is also common that during intercourse, one does not reach orgasm during vaginal penetration.
Most women need manual stimulation of the clitoris to feel satisfied and few of them achieve orgasm with vaginal stimulation alone.
The fact of not having an orgasm each time or not having one during penetration is not a sufficient reason for anorgasmia.
This term is reserved for more general difficulties, when the person is unable to reach orgasm despite good stimulation.
Do not get to the top does not mean you do not enjoy the trip
Suffering from orgasmic disorder does not imply that one can not enjoy sex.
Many women who do not reach orgasm love their sex and feel satisfied. They benefit from the moment and the contact that the relationship offers them.
We tend to simplify sexuality, reduce sex to penetration and measure its success at the amount and intensity of orgasms obtained.
Yet, sexuality is a much larger world in which various practices and personal characteristics come into play.
Orgasm or sexual intercourse is only part of sexuality. Feeling woman, believing that the man does not necessarily have to take the initiative, the sexual preferences, the rights and the freedoms, the affective relation or the plane of life are aspects which are part of what one calls sexuality.
A difficulty, a solution
Most causes of anorgasmia are 95% psychological. A very restrictive education, bad sexual experiences, the culture in which we grew up, the fear of losing control, improper stimulation or stress can influence and aggravate the problem.
The fact that the difficulty often has a psychological origin implies that what we do and what we think plays a fundamental role in how we experience pleasure.
It is therefore possible to improve by changing the way we perceive or act with each other and with ourselves in these situations of pleasure.
The technique of shoring, which is to stimulate the clitoris manually during coitus, or masturbatory training are effective for this kind of difficulty.
Sometimes, sexual therapy or couple therapy may also be necessary to achieve improvement.
If you suffer from this difficulty, have tried to solve it on your own and have not succeeded, remember thata psychologist or sexologist can help you improve your sexual relations and better enjoy your sexuality.