< div class="thumbnail">What is a decision? What is sadness? What is love ?
If a person falls in love in a toxic way, this disease accompanies him until the end of his days. Sarcasm, mockery, and manipulation destroy her self-esteem and her ability to decide for herself.
Low self-esteem, the desire to save the one we love, the role of victim assumed, the desire to be accompanied at any price, to play a determined social role and the fear of moving forward in life become grounds that justify these toxic relationships, and that become simply insoluble.
In a toxic relationship, one or both people who suffer from it suffer more than they enjoy together.
One of the two (or sometimes both at the same time) is subject to strong moral wear as they struggle to keep the relationship afloat. Both can have these characteristics, and suffer from moral harassment on the part of the other.
A toxic person plays to blame the other for everything that happens in the relationship, always following what she does, because she just can not leave her any space.
She is afraid that by doing so, the other person will discover that she is living in a sick relationship. She uses lack of trust, betrayal and contempt to keep her under control.
Paulo Coelho warns us against this evil in an excerpt from his book "Eleven minutes":
"Throughout my life I have conceived of love as a sort of slavery, but it is not so: freedom can only exist when love exists too.
One who gives himself totally and who feels free, likes to the maximum. And whoever loves to the maximum, feels free. But, in love, each of us is responsible for what he feels, and can not blame the other for it.
Nobody loses anyone because nobody owns anyone.
And that's the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without having it. "
In summary, the decision to be free belongs to all of us.