When we leave our self-esteem adrift, in the hands of others or those who like to control and exercise power over us, we often plunge into infinite persecution to believe that we can recover it. As if it gives us value … Although in reality, all we do is despise ourselves with rejections and half-acceptances, always conditional. To persecute those who hurt us is therefore one of the many ways we do not love ourselves.
True love, both for others and for ourselves, is nothing but the inevitable desire to help us and to allow us to show our authenticity. Persecuting those who hurt us is a way of not finding ourselvesbut to find the other at all costs, forgetting ourselves to a certain extent.
When we are in a relationship and we realize that when we can avoid some suffering, the other person does not do it, it's a clear indication that they do not care about us as we should … What happens sometimes is that we are so blind that we do not see how other people can manipulate us and benefit from us for their benefit.
If your partner makes you feel guilty and is not able to respect you, it is better to keep your distance.Share
You are the only person who can prevent it
When love really exists, caring for one's partner is an inherent part of one's heart. However, this does not mean that we must be blinded without seeing if the other person fits us. If we notice that our partner is hurting us as a way to maintain the relationship, it's a good time to stop it, since we are the only ones who can do it.
When the person with whom we share our life makes us feel bad more often than it makes us feel good, we must ask ourselves if this person brings us things or if it steals from us. From this answer, we will know if, in the end, we want to share the rest of our lives this way.
To close a stage of our life, saying goodbye to the one we love, even if it hurts us, is one of the most tormented and circular experiences that can happen to us in the world of emotions. We know that the thing the most difficult is not the first kiss, but the last. But sometimes this last kiss can save us from many other sweet-bitter things.
When our partner continually hurts us, the lack of self-esteem may end up being so deep in us that we do not know how to discern what we are and why we feel so bad. Now, we can not stop the emotional pain ourselves, because once they start hurting us, there is no other way than to fall back on our self-esteem.
You have to be crazy to love someone who hurts you, but it's crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you.Share
Obsession, fear of being alone, hope or devotion?
The relationship of a couple can go wrong, you have to keep that in mind. And to recover, the only way is to accept that it's over. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to manage the situation and the damage will turn into obsession, fear, hope and even devotion.
Some psychologists have claimed that the lack of love can be more painful than the death of a person. According to this theory, death has a process of mourning that ends with acceptance. But when the couple separates and there is no acceptance, the suffering can last a long time and can never even heal.
Love does not hurt … it hurts those who do not know how to love.Share
The obsessions, the excessive fear of being alone and the devotion are, in short, feelings that contain something of underestimation of the person and exaltation of the loved one. As an example, we leave you this poem by Hamlet Lima Quintana for your reflection:
"No one has the face of a beloved.
A face where birds
distribute morning tasks.
Nobody has the hands of my beloved.
Hands that are hardened in the sun
when they caress the poor things of my life.
Nobody has the eyes of my beloved.
Eyes where fish swim freely.
forgotten hook and drought,
forgotten about me who is waiting for them.
like the old fisherman of hope.
Nobody has the voice with which my beloved speaks.
A voice that does not even touch the words.
as if it was a permanent song.
Nobody has the light that surrounds it.
nor this absence of sun when it is damaged.
Sometimes I do not think anyone has, nobody, nobody, all that.
not even herself. "