To feed the grudge is to die little by little

To feed the grudge is to die little by little

The girl approached her father and said:

– Dad, I can not stand the neighbor anymore! I want to kill her, but I'm afraid I'll be discovered. Can you help me ? The father answered him:

– Of course, yes, my heart, but on one condition … First you will have to make peace with her, so that no one will suspect you when she is dead. You must behave well, be kind, grateful, patient, affectionate, less selfish, attentive … You see this little dust? You will put a little bit in her plate every day and it will kill her.

30 days passed and the girl came back to her father:
– I do not want her to die anymore! I love it. And now ? How to cancel the effect of venom? The father then replied:
– Do not worry ! I only gave you small grains of rice.
She could not have died, the venom was in you.

When we feed the grudges, we die little by little. Let's learn to make peace with those who hurt us and hurt us.

Let's learn to treat others as we would like to be treated. Let us learn to take the initiative to love, to give, to offer, to serve, not just to want to win and to be served.

Unknown author

When someone hurts you, it's as if you were bitten by a snake. The injury may be larger or smaller, but you can still close and heal it.

The problem arises when the bite is venomous. As therapist José Antonio García points out, the most common venoms are revenge and the quest for justice at all costs (Eye for eye, tooth for tooth).

These venoms can be diffused for years indoors, biting us little by little and making our life sad and hopeless.

Keeping a grudge is a very human thing,but to forgive is too. It is said that the one who does not love does not forgive. Thus, it is precisely love, the culprit of forgiveness.

In other words, true forgiveness does not exist if there is nothing that can really justify it. It may be friendliness, responsibility or indifference, but the only way to reach it is that of love.

Moreover, you say that, in a way, forgiveness is synonymous with freedom. It does not matter what grudges, fears and hatred you feel towards others, nothing justifies living in the prison of resentment.

Thus, your emotional wounds can only heal when you are able to talk about your past and your pain without shedding tears, once you have forgiven and you have let forgetfulness do its work.

In all cases, forgiving does not mean erasing the past or forgetting the pain, but creating a new vision of the past and looking towards the present moment and the future.

Forgiveness is essential for emotional freedom

Forgiving is essential to achieve emotional freedom, and mental well-being. It can be very difficult, but it's the only way to heal. Let's see how to do it:

1. Recognize your suffering and pain. It's the only way to distance yourself emotionally and rebuild empathy for the person who hurt you.

This will allow you to analyze the reasons that might have caused it to do so, which will reduce your need to blame the other and assign specific intentionality.

2. Choose forgiveness. For that, let's use the metaphor of the hook.

The one who has hurt you has hooked you to a hook that runs through your bowels and hurts you tremendously. Then you want to give him what he deserves, to make him feel the same thing and also to catch him with a hook.

An act of justice, which everyone has already felt. If you focus on the desire to make him suffer in turn, you make even more present the suffering he has caused you.

Whether you manage to catch it with this hook or simply try it, you will always be in the same hook with it. If you can catch him, he will be with you. If you want to get out of it, you have to help it first.

If we move away from this metaphor, we must be careful not to be too close to this person, because it could pierce you again.

And if you find yourself both on the same hook again, it's the confidence that will help you move forward, in other words, believing that this person will not start again.

However, it is not the option of not suffering that justifies a choice, but an option based on what you want in the long term.

3. Accept suffering and anger. It is natural to feel angry and hurt sometimes, but the only way to stop hurting is to abandon this perpetual confrontation with your emotions, feelings and thoughts.

4. Self-protection. When you analyze what happened and you try to forgive, you can not forget the signals that indicate a danger. To do this, you will need to have them in your head to protect you from future threats and injuries.

5. Do not settle for a simple "I forgive you". Any of your expressions may turn out to be totally meaningless. This is usually what happens when we think that we have been able to forgive while resentment continues to grow in us.

Forgiveness is something that you feel. For that, if certain thoughts, emotions or feelings reappear, it will be necessary to start again the whole process from the beginning, until to make disappear completely the pain which is in the process of undermining you.

Keep your memories but not the suffering that accompanies them. If you get there, life will be a lot easier.
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