Do you remember when you were a kid? Childhood is a wonderful time and that's why we often think about it with a little nostalgia.
It represents the time when we discover the world and at the same time where we feel the protection and attention of adults.
During childhood and adolescence, it is our parents who are in charge of taking care of us and protecting us, meeting our needs and, above all, making decisions for us.
That's why growing up is an experience sometimes a bit difficult. What is certain is that as we grow up we lose comfort and security, but we gain something that is priceless: freedom.
As the years go by, we are gradually taking the reins of our own lives. First, we work to support ourselves.
However, there are other areas in which we also need to learn to take responsibility: our emotional ties for example, or our mental health.
That's the way we manage that responsibility that marks the difference between growing up and maturing. Time passes inexorably and we all grow up.
However, how we take responsibility for our emotions will determine our maturity.
Mature is learning to look for solutions rather than guilty
Making decisions involves feeling emotions related to fear, error and uncertainty. Thus, we sometimes paralyze and have trouble choosing the path to take.
However, what is certain is that we are all wrong one daybecause making mistakes is part of the learning process.
Remember when you learned to add to school? At first, they seemed very complicated and you were often wrong. But with practice, adding up has become child's play.
Assuming that we are wrong implies a complex process of thinking and analyzing facts. That's whyit is sometimes easier to find external reasons that would justify our mistakes.
This is where the fault comes into play. Often, when we have to face obstacles or have a problem, our mind tries to find the culprits.
Thus, even when one bumps into an inanimate object, one reproaches him for being in the middle of the room. Have you ever walked without thinking in the hallway and banging your little toe on a toy that should not be here?
Without thinking, you only listen to your urge and criticize this "damn toy that has nothing to do here".
It's natural, lFrustration leads to looking for leaders.Share
But what happens when the obstacle is more important than a toy in the middle of a corridor?
You may be failing several times in an exam you thought you were prepared for, not renewing a work contract, having problems communicating with your partner, or having your father go to great lengths. horses whenever you express your opinion.
If you do not reflect and let yourself be carried away by your emotions, it is the search for a culprit that will appear directly in your mind.
It may be that you blame others, the circumstances, or even yourself. However, stop for a few moments and ask yourself: What is the use of finding a culprit?
When we accuse others or ourselves of something that has happened, we focus on negative emotions and attitudes.
Anger, frustration, sadness, and resentment invade us, but we do not move forward. In summary, we are even more unhappy.
However, if you go over these negative emotions, you will realize that beyond all this culprit story, you can do something much more useful, such as taking action that will help you change the situation.
If you are looking for solutions, you will understand that no matter who made the mistake, it is possible to resolve the situation.
We are sure that you remember situations similar to this one: you have a feeling of unfairness because you failed an exam that you thought was successful. Just to think about it, you feel bad, you complain about the teacher or yourself, and you look for a culprit.
Thinking about this story that belongs to the past, you stagnate. The culprit's quest blocks you and prevents you from moving forward.
However, if you decide to change and do something about it like asking to review the copy, go back to studying the chapters on which you may have failed, ask for help, etc., your emotions will change.
Frustration will turn into motivation. Mature is learning to go from level 1 to level 2.
The next time something does not happen the way you want it and you try to find the culprits, remember that the best thing for you to do is try to turn the page.
Negative emotions are inevitable, but if you are looking for solutions instead of looking for culprits, you will realize that these emotions will be far behind and that you will move towards new goals.