Speech, our natural way of expression, has enormous potential, for better or for worse.
We have long been aware of the power of words, and it was already the case of the time when exhortations and magic formulas were used to cast spells or, conversely, to disenchant.
Even if today, at a time when reason and technology dominate, we no longer really believe in magic, In any case, we recognize that words can have important consequences, because we all know that there is a close relationship between thoughts, words and actions.
Even if the words do not physically affect, if they are abused, they can cause serious emotional damageso that psychology considers verbal abuse to be as harmful as any other type of abuse, physical or sexual.
When our words are still only thoughts, then it is still time for us to make sure not to be in criticism, judgment or negativity when verbalizing things, and that our words do not change into words. poisonous darts.
At this critical moment, it is better to breathe deeply to transmit to the brain a message of calm.
Ask yourself if what you want to say is going to be constructive, whether for you or for others ; if your words are going to make a positive contribution or if they are going to weaken the people around you or the relationships you have, or even harm them.
Learn to speak
Of course, it's been a long time since you've learned to speak. But, it's not just about knowing how to talk; it's all about knowing how to do it, and this with emotional intelligence.
Some people punctuate their sentences with "big words", while others spend their time to behave, insult or criticize, whether these criticisms are made about yourself or about others. Technically, these people know how to talk, but, do they use the word wisely?
On the other hand, it is undeniable that language fulfills a vital communicative function, which is why it is not healthy to repress what we think and feel.
Indeed, in our lives of imperfect beings, not everything is always pink. In these moments of negativity, hatred or pain, not only do we have the right to express ourselves, but others also have the right to be treated with respect.
To succeed, the key is assertiveness, this wonderful balance that is acquired by communicating authentically and constructively what we think and what we feel.
Here are some tips for learning to be assertive:
• Use "I" messages: these messages are aptly named; they refer to the fact that the center of the message is about the feelings of the person speaking about the conduct of another person.
The person thus expresses what she feels, without judging, accusing or categorizing the other person.
For example, if your children are not tidying up their room, instead of telling them "But what are you doing to make your room look like this? You're really messy!", Use "I" in your room. message and say "When you do not tidy your room, it disappoints me, because I have many other things to do, and I would like you to help me a little".
In both cases, we express what we feel, but in the first, the negativity is discharged on the other, while in the second, the speaker focuses on his feelings and puts aside the conduct of the other.
• Make good use of "temporary shelving": sometimes, it is better to withdraw in time from a potentially conflictual situation in order to avoid saying things that could later be regretted.
The goal is to be assertive, the idea is to take advantage of this "temporary setting" to resume the conversation once things have calmed down. Thus, we can speak without our words going beyond our thought and without becoming dangerous.
We have in our hands (or perhaps in this case it would be more appropriate to say "between our lips") the possibility of creating a climate of harmony around us thanks to the power of our words, which, perhaps, contain in them more magic than what one believes …