The fear of being alone, of not having contact with others, is inherent to the human being. As social beings, we need to be surrounded by others to feel fulfilled and develop our skills satisfactorily.The links with others feed us,enrich us and, in a way, are necessary to achieve well-being.
However, this behaviorturns into a problem when we find ourselves unable to lead a normal lifewithout company. Whether because of the absence of a spouse or because you live abroad, loneliness, even if it is common, can grow worryingly until we suffocate.Let's deepen this idea.
The fear of being alone can limit personal growth.Share
What is the fear of being alone?
The fear of being alone is based on the following point:we feel unable to perform any activity involving loneliness.Limits can even be reached when one becomes unable to take care of oneself or when one desperately seeks out the company. This circumstance is also called autophobia or "fear of oneself".
Normally, the fear of loneliness is associated with external agents. In children,it could be associated with the fear of separation.This happens when the little ones are not able to understand that their parents are not going away but that they will only be separated for a few days.
In adults, the fear of loneliness often comes fromthe loss of a loved one, of a sentimental separation …These situations favor the appearance of this type of fear because of a deep feeling of abandonment and low self-esteem.
How to overcome the fear of being alone
1. Understand your fear
The first step in overcoming the fear of being alone is tointrospection.This is a fundamental point forto understand the process we are going through and to be able to act.This is the most important part because we have a lot of defense methods. Negation is one of them.
Negation can be useful to dodge our fears in moments of stress but in the long run,we can not lock this part of us.Therefore, understanding what is happening to us is the first point in this process.
2. Accept it, value your fear
To fight our fear, we must not only recognize it:we must also accept that she is part of us.This process, a little more complex, is accompanied by forgiveness.
We can not let guilt invade us.Fear, among other things, makes us grow.If we can find value, we will go a long way in this process of overcoming. The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung said it already: "What you deny submits to you, what you accept transforms you".
3. Analyze the causes
All fears have an origin, a cause. It is important to discoverwhat is the source of our emotionto examine the possible solutions and, above all, to know what she wants to tell us. The fear of loneliness is usually due, as we have seen, to separation, to distance, to loss. In fact, she is normally connected to other emotions and aspects like the following:
- The fear of abandonment
- The fear of failing orexcess of perfectionism and responsibility
- Fear of what others will say or think
On the other hand, identifying the cause may seem simple. But very often, pain distorts our realityand the overtaking process becomes more complicated. It is therefore important to take this cause into account so as not to ignore our feelings and work on these emotions.
4. Associate loneliness with positive aspects
Overcoming our fear of loneliness does not mean giving up on it. We must understand thatloneliness is necessary and positive for our life.If we observe it from an adequate point of view, it can become a refuge that allows us to connect to our "me".
To achieve this goal, we can use the association. If we associate it with positive elements and meanings, our fear will disappear little by little. In addition,solitude may suppose the beginning of a reconstruction stage.A step in which we prioritize and take care of ourselves.
Loneliness helps us understand each other. It brings us moments of peace that we can enjoy with the best company we have. This can make us feel unique and special.Share
5. Loneliness is fundamental
As we have seen, loneliness is good for our emotional health. What's more, it allows us to maintain ourselves in this state.This means that seeking solitude is a relevant thing, and even everyday. Thanks to her,we can recover the energy we lost during the day.
A walk alone, go see a movie that we like, dinner in peace …Everything is good to enjoy those moments of solitude we so badly need.
6. Professional help
The fear of loneliness can sometimes become a serious problem that driftsin depression, anxiety and even in emotional dependence.In these cases, it is important to consult a specialist.
Remember:you are your best company.Without you, you would not be the person you are. It may seem obvious but we often forget that we are our best confidante and that we are the only ones who understand us perfectly.The only indispensable person in your life is yourself.