If you are angry, why are you pretending? Often, you pretend to be angry to maintain appearances, and in addition to hurting yourself, you give others the means to dominate and impose on you.
The real problem is that you do not know how to channel your anger and that you prefer to contain it, but sooner or later it will burst.
If we do not try to learn to dominate our anger, it is because we think that it does not reach us and that we can dominate it. In addition, we are often told that it is an emotion to avoid so as not to cause collateral damage in our environment.
Of course, this avoids very toxic situations. However, completely suppressing anger can also have negative consequences. It is important to know when to avoid it and when it does not pose a threat. Let's analyze together situations in which we should not repress our anger.
To repress anger causes health problems
We tend to think that emotions are the abstract aspect of our body, as if it were a container to contain them and a way to express them physically. This suggests that emotions manifest themselves physically, as in our thoughts.
However, containing anger can cause serious health problems.These problems include, for example, headaches, digestive disorders, insomnia, anxiety, depression, increased blood pressure, skin problems or heart problems (heart attack, tachycardia).
So you have to find a way to free yourself from that anger and express it, or it will finish you off.
Not knowing how to handle anger can cause behavioral changes
Emotions accumulate when we do not take care of them. It may be that with time they escape uncontrollably.Share
It is possible that you feel good when you have been able to control an attack of anger to not hurt or offend anyone.
However, it may be that later on you attack others (innocent people who unfortunately have nothing to do with all this), simply because you think they represent a threat. You do not intend to hurt them, certainly, but the anger boils inside you, and that can make you lose control.
Controlling anger can also lead to anxiety disorders, irrational fears and rage.
How and where to set the limits?
The first step is to become aware that this anger is part of you, because then you can begin to set healthy boundaries.
Are you angry about what someone did? Or is it an anger related to past personal injury? Is it due to insecurity on your part or does the other person really treat you badly?
You will find the answers to these questions by confronting your anger. These answers will help you make the right decisions about your relationships with others.
You may have to take a step back to realize that others are not as bad as you thought.
Others need to know if you are hurt
Sometimes people act with the intention of hurting. What is certain is that most of the time it is not the case and the other has no intention of unleashing our anger.
If we feel guilty about being angry, we can internalize it and make ourselves feel guilty, without addressing the real problem.
When we get angry and take the time to analyze the reason for this anger, we become more aware of the hidden cause.
Thus, we will be able to put in place the necessary tools to let out the anger little by little without causing major problems, by carrying out a healthy exercise of self-control.
Getting angry is sometimes nice
Just as repressed anger will make you feel bad, releasing it will do you good. It's like removing a huge weight from your shoulders. Getting angry consciously is an entirely different experience than rejection.Share
She can help to know herself and to understand why certain elements make us angry.
It is not a matter of living in a state of constant anger, but rather not to act as if it did not exist. Anger is a natural human emotion, and we must allow ourselves to feel it.
Only in this way will we learn to express it in a healthy way and to prevent it from dominating us but also from appearing.