The day I discovered who Albert Ellis was and what he had done, I almost fell in love.
After many years of being skeptical about psychology, I learned that by doing a good therapy, such as the TRE, it could be a powerful weapon against the majority of people's psychological problems.
Ellis applied his therapy on himself to overcome his shyness and fear when meeting and getting closer to women. And I have to say that when I started to apply it on myself, I had my head back.
So, for you to discover the father of rational therapy, in this article, we will share with you 7 lessons of this true genius.
1. The A-B-C model
According to rational therapy, it is neither the situation nor the adversity that directly causes emotional ill-being, but the fact of being ourselves, with our beliefs and our thoughts, provokes in us a pain.
In this sense, the A-B-C model teaches the patient to put all these concepts in order and to clearly perceive the relationship between thoughts and emotions.
The A represented the trigger, the adversity or the problem. The B would represent our thoughts and beliefs, and the C would be the consequences of those thoughts, that is, our emotional level and how we behave.
If my B is rational, my C will be healthy and normal. But if my B is irrational, my C will be very unpleasant and negative.
2. The irrational beliefs
Our model is represented by B above. But when the B is irrational, it means that it does not have any logic and is not realistic.
In other words, they are thoughts that cross our mind automatically, without any reasoning process that would question them or confront them with reality.
Therefore, these people suffer in an exaggerated way and do not act properly. Ellis expounded 12 basic irrational beliefs, although there are as many as there are people.
3. Unconditional acceptance of oneself
According to Ellis, all human beings have the same value, regardless of what they possess or their external characteristics. What is exterior is changeable and even perishable.
What we have today may not exist tomorrow, and that is not why we would have lost our value as a person, because this value has been part of us since the very moment we were born.
If we internalize this idea, which represents reality, we will feel much freer and we will love ourselves without conditions, without having to be handsome, to succeed or to have a lot of money … because all this does not determine in any case our value.
The most important isour ability to love life and to love others
4. Unconditional acceptance of others
Just like unconditional acceptance of oneself to be happy and to please others, we must also practice the unconditional acceptance of others.
It's about accepting the other as it is: whether he is handsome or ugly, white or black, intelligent or not, whether he has money or does not have much.
Anyone can bring us wonderful thingsregardless of external characteristics, which, as we have said, are not important.
Moreover, to free ourselves and not to worry, it is very important to accept the people around us, with their faults and their qualities, and not to try to change them or to immerse themselves in endless debates with them. .
We can not change people. The key is to accept and value the qualities they have because each one of us has them.
5. Tolerate frustration
One of the keys to emotional health is the practice of tolerance to frustration, that is to say, to accept that the world does not always turn in the direction one would like and that things do not always happen as expected.
This is a reality that many people reject because of their irrational beliefs about the world.
They think about the conditional: "The world should be as I see fit"and when that is not the case, they become anxious or depressed.
Tolerance means accepting that things do not always go in our direction and admit these hazards.
Fatalism occurs when a person thinks what is happening to him is terribleand she will not be able to overcome it. It is exaggerating excessively the negative of a situation.
This is an erroneous idea that makes us even more anxious, because it is shown that a human being has the capacity to withstand almost every psychological hardship.
So rational belief would be here: "What happens to me is very embarrassing and unpleasant but of course I can overcome all this” .
7. Rational-emotional images
Visualization is one of the techniques of the TRE to disable these irrational beliefs. Indeed, the factvisualizing helps to establish habits of rational thinking and facilitates healthy emotions.
The patient must imagine a situation that he dreads, in the most precise way possible, by feeling all the emotions that flow from it.
Then, the person is asked to replace his exaggerated feelings with appropriate feelings.
For example, replace panic with discontent, or depression with sadness … We can prescribe our own emotions if we strive to change our way of seeing things.