It is often believed that it is the fault of others if we have negative emotions such as anger, hatred, frustration or pain. But, in reality, the only person who hurts us is usually ourselves.
When you're upset by a reflection, it's because there are things in you that you need to work on. When you feel bad and think it's because of someone, think for a moment; think back to what this person told you, and you will realize how critical you can be to yourself.
Think of those parts of your face or body that you like. If someone thinks about one of these parts, it will not have any negative impact on you, since you appreciate it. His opinion is always given more importance than that of others.
If, on the contrary, someone makes a remark about a part of your body that you do not like, then you will feel bad.
In fact, it is not the other that hurts you, but you yourself, since this part of your body, you do not like it, and therefore you and that person have the same opinion.
If someone makes you a thought that is vexing you, it is because this person will have awakened in you those negative opinions that you carry about yourself, and that perhaps you keep buried in you to forget them.
But it was enough for someone to call you back to make it hurt you.
Accept yourself as you are, be aware of both good and bad
There are many who believe that they will gain self-esteem if they focus only on their qualities, to the detriment of their faults. But by adopting such behavior, they only avoid the negative, and what we avoid remains buried in us until someone touches that chord.
We put forward our good side to leave the bad on the sidelines, but leaving on the sidelines does not mean forgetting or burying. We must accept our bad side, at the risk of being emotionally weak if we do not do it.
Certainly, it is better to leave aside our defects, but having first taken care to accept them, so as not to be hurt by any thought that could be made. One must have a clear opinion about oneself, which will prevail over that of others.
It is vitally important to accept oneself as one is if one wants to attain inner peace. Many of the emotional problems that can be faced are related to self-esteem and caused by lack of self-acceptance.
We have all our qualities and our faults
Some people think that we must make every facet of our personality a quality; but that is false. We all have our qualities and our faults. No one is perfect, and it's about fostering the facets of our personality that we enjoy the most.
If you understand that and accept it, then your flaws will no longer be a problem for you. Accept your faults as a part of yourself, and take advantage of your qualities.
The next time you feel bad because of someone's remark, tell yourself that you and you alone are the source of your negative emotions, and that when something upsets you is that you have things to change or accept.
Do critics affect you?
Let's change the example. Imagine that you are 40 years old and still live with your parents. You would like to be more independent, but your bad financial situation does not allow you.
If your parents say to you, "You will never be independent, let alone with this unfriendly crisis," and this remark annoys and hurts you, if you become angry and feel the negative emotions invade you. , so you can deduce that you have the same look as your parents on the situation.
In fact, it was not your parents who hurt you; it's you.
Now imagine that your parents make this remark to you, and that you tell them that you personally do not worry, that you know that you will eventually find work, that this crisis will soon be a bad memory, and that you can leave the family home.
In this case, we probably can not say that your parents' comments made you angry or upset, because you do not have the same opinion as them.
If you come to understand this, then your life will take a new turn. Nobody hurts you, no one makes you angry; everything comes from you, everything is in your head, everything depends on your own opinions.
You must believe in yourself, in life, in luck, in your abilities. Love yourself, and above all, accept all of you, good as bad.