Secrets and lies

Secrets and lies

Let's acknowledge it (at least inwardly): to a greater or lesser extent, we all say lies and keep secrets of something we should not be proud of, but it's undeniable that it's a deeply rooted attitude in human nature.

From a child who pretends to cry because it requires his parents' attention to scammers such as Bernard Madoff, at any age and on any scale, lies are part of our lives. But where does this impulse come from to deceive or hide the truth?

A vicious network

According to scientific studies, foreigners lie to each other about 300 times during the first ten minutes during which they get to know each other.

Although it seems impressive, this figure is not so surprising when we know that lies are a bridge between our fantasies about what we want to be, and what we really are.

By inventing certain facts about ourselves, we think that we fill a void of a certain quality or things that would make us feel more estimable.

The researchers also say that we say between one hundred and two hundred lies a day … Incredible, no? Is there anyone able to recognize that?

If in addition, we consider that we are inundated with lies such as spam, false digital friends, identity thieves and crooks of all kinds, the panorama is not flattering.

All this creates a hostile environment from which we must protect ourselves to avoid falling prey to these amateurs and professionals of lies, but these are lies that we also participate in a certain way.

Lies with a tiny "m"

All lies are not destructive. There are also so-called "white lies" or "godly lies", through which we protect others, to avoid damaging their feelings or to prevent negative consequences.

For example, when we receive a gift that we do not like, and we pretend the opposite to avoid that the person, who has made this gesture of generosity towards us, feels bad.

Another poignant example of white lie is the movie Life is Beautiful, in which, in the midst of the Nazi Holocaust, a father make believe to his young child that all people who are in a concentration camp participate in a fun game, only to protect him from suffering.

The secrets, meanwhile, can also be maintained to avoid damaging a person's reputation or to avoid disclosing painful information.

This is the case for example of a mother who spares her children details of conflicts or disputes between the couple, which would be painful for them.

However, there are other secrets that could be painful, but that we must reveal because sooner or later, the person will know, or simply because she has the right to know.

This is the case of adopted children or serious illnesses that strike a person. In these circumstances, it is important to prepare the person and be very careful about how you will reveal the information so as not to cause a greater impact than necessary.

If we are not careful, the lies create an entanglement in which we entangle ourselves. They have a destructive power that can seriously damage relationships and wreak havoc in the lives of others.

And although in the real world godly lies are sometimes necessary, living in a world of lies to pretend what we are not or manipulating others, in the long run creates a boomerang effect, because … there is nothing hidden under the sunlight.

Image courtesy of (cup) cake_eater

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