Psychological projection is a term largely developed by Freud's theory, which exposes us to a familiar practice in which we find ourselves very often. It may even be that you did it without realizing it.
Think back to that time when you were crazy in love with someone. In a way, and almost unconsciously, you attribute to that person qualities and virtues which did not quite correspond to reality.
You exaggerated his kindness, his preoccupation, his success and his attributes in a halo of perfection that you yourself projected on him / her.
Love is sometimes a very propitious context for developing this psychological projection. The real problem is when you put in place a clearly negative projection.
Thus, the person using this projection clearly suffers from emotional deficiencies, attributing to others thoughts filled with rage and anxiety.
Today, we are going to evoke this feeling of guilt and the way in which, instead of assuming and confronting one's faults, that feeling resurfaces with the intention of hurting others, the people closest to us, and whom we value most.
Projection: distorting reality to its advantage
Let's start with an example. Your half is an unsure person who is afraid to engage.
Instead of assuming this reality, she begins to punish you by making sure that you are the one who is not making things easier and you are always showing that you do not trust her.
The problem is not you, it's her. Indeed, instead of facing the fact that she has a problem of self-esteem and self-confidence, she punishes you, pointing out things that are not true.
She throws you in the face all her rage and projects negative emotions on your person, to obtain several things:
1. Ignore the problem and blame others.
2. Free yourself from this inner weight and bring it out, hitting the people around.
3. To arouse guilt in others, to prove a clear position of power. "I do not have a problem", it is the others who have it. It's the world that has to move around me, not the other way around.
4. By interpreting that it is others who are the real reason for the problem, these people manage to distort reality so well that they end up believing it.
How to put an end to these psychological projections?
The theme of psychological projection is really complex, and unfortunately quite common. Sometimes, people who are physically and psychologically abused continue to project a positive image on their spouse in order to protect themselves from reality.
"If he is jealous, it is because he loves me". "Sometimes he makes mistakes, but it's still the person who cares the most about me".
To project these ideas is to fall into a distortion of reality, in a harmless world. In this world, we do not accept the cruelty of reality, whereas everyone should show courage and react to defend themselves.
But then, how to put an end to these projections?
1. Realizing that what you project on others is actually a defense mechanism, such asdo not have a lifeline to which you cling to not admit certain things.
2. By understanding that throwing guilt and rage on those around you will only generate more negative emotions.
You will fall into a vicious circle in which this false "feeling of power" will cause a fall in the long run.
3. If you experience this projection from someone around you, show them clearly how you feel.
Warn her that this behavior can not last longer and that you feel bad, humiliated and manipulated.
4. Know also that in putting an end to this psychological projection which hides in fact a personal deficiency, this feeling of control will disappear.
You will then suffer from a kind of personal fall, in which you will need help and support to rebuild and deal with these problems and deficiencies.
However, it's usually not easy to accept that we sometimes do such projections, because we do it without realizing it.
We all have flaws and deficiencies. The best thing would always be to act with humility and objectivity, because in the end, we are all beautiful imperfect beings who are trying to survive in a complex world to be happy. Is not it ?
Photo courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli.