We all have, in the back of us, a small voice that is more commonly known as the internal critic.It's about evaluating, questioning and thinking about everything we do. His mission is to help us grow and continue to grow. The problem appears when it becomes very demanding. Instead of pushing us to evolve, it locks us into our comfort zone. Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever felt too demanding with yourself to not move forward and damage your self-esteem?
If the answer is yes,In this article you will find practical tips for maintaining control over your internal critic and thus practicing a healthy self-requirement.It's about knowing yourself better to be able to act better, without being emotionally worn out by the very strict control of perfection. Let's deepen this idea.
Learn to tolerate frustration to cultivate a healthy self-requirement
The first step to practice a healthy self-requirement is to work on your level of tolerance for frustration. This implies accepting that changes are normal and occur everyday.The fact that something does not happen the way you want it does not mean that "everything goes wrong", even if that's what you feel.To put it another way, to be more tolerant of frustration, you have to fight emotional reasoning (think based on how you feel, without properly analyzing reality).
Otherwise,if you want to improve your tolerance for frustration, it is necessary to change the language and words that you use to shape your feelings. You must transform your thoughts and use more flexible language. For example, you can replace the defeatist, dramatic, and catastrophist words with others that help you relativize. Through this exercise, you will benefit from the power of words.
One of the best ways to practice a healthy self-requirement is to start applying it with your loved ones.For this you need to think about your degree of requirement with others. Do you motivate them to excel themselves or do you blame them when they are not up to your expectations? It is important to balance what you ask others. Pushing them out of their comfort zone is a good thing, but only if you do not force them into their zone of panic or fear.
In addition,you must stop labeling others according to the expectations you have. And of their respect or not of these last ones.Doing this exercise will help you give up all your labels, even with yourself.
"We complain about our friends because we ask them too much."
-Santiago Ramón y Cajal-
So,Empathy is a fundamental skill for practicing a healthy requirement, whether with yourself or with others.Think about how others may feel when they are not meeting their goals. Think about how you feel when things are not going the way you want. Managing your own feelings is hard enough, right? Learn to press the "pause" button before creating unnecessary difficulties.
Balance your interests, your well-being, your needs
Always remember the reasons for your requirements. And above all, what are the consequences?If your level of self-fulfillment causes you to feel uncomfortable, conflicts with your family, your colleagues or your companion, it's time to be more flexible and adjust your goals.
In the long run, being too demanding with yourself will not be positive.To be able to practice a healthy self-requirement, you must balance moments of well-being, pleasure and relax in your daily life.Everything can not be reduced to work, obligations and perfection.
Therefore, moments of disconnection must be part of your priorities. Whether you fulfill all your obligations or not, you must have these moments of "care" with yourself. So, a good exercise to lower your requirement and make it healthier is to practice mental rest. It means moving at least every hour, drinking water, diverting attention from your activities and directing it to your personal needs. Self-fulfillment must be a means, not an end.
"A machine can do the work of 50 average men, but no machine can do the work of an extraordinary man."
Remember that self-help must help you get out of your comfort zone. If she keeps you within your limits and does not let you go for fear of failing, she is not healthy.You have the power to put a brake on it, to accept a little more things and to be more flexible.
If you are trying to change your level of requirement and are not able to do it all on your own, ask for help.There are a large number of professionals who can help you become an excellent version of yourself. A very healthy version.