Parental Alienation Syndrome (SAP) represents the rejection without any justification, of one of the two parents on behalf of his child. What characterizes this syndrome is that the feeling of disenchantment is not "natural" but "programmed" by the other parent, the one with whom the child lives or spends most of his time.
Under such conditions, the alienating parent uses the child, the latter being unaware of the permanent psychological damage that it causes him.
Is it then possible for a parent to be able to use his child in a non-discriminatory way for the sole purpose of taking revenge or harming the other parent?
The development of the SAP: Mother VS Father
Generally, this disorder develops after a separation or divorce, in other words situations in which, most often, the physical and moral custody of children is at stake.
The responsible parent of the child most of the time (the alienant) then incites his child to feelings of hatred, rejection and denigration towards the other parent (the insane).
In front of his child, the alienant pretends to be the victim, and blames the other parent for the separation or divorce. He makes his children feel that for him, any contact with the other parent will be considered treason.
The alienant therefore makes his child what is called a "brainwashing", and as a result, the latter sometimes comes to lie or make false statements against the alienated parent so as not to lose the affection and love of the parent with whom he lives.
The psychological and physical consequences of the SAP
In the case of Parental Alienation Syndrome, the alienant is aware of his actions as well as the consequences they may have on his ex-spouse.
However, he does not know that by using his child to harm the other parent, he can alter the well-being of his child and leave irreparable damage.
This is why we can sometimes observe in the smallest serious behavioral problems, because their own reasoning ability has been manipulated.
Let's see how some damage occurs in children who experience this situation:
• Alteration of emotional stability: this is one of the main consequences of EWS, characterized by a feeling of anxiety and stress that some children feel when they are in contact with the alienated parent (the one from whom they have been emotionally "removed")
• Disorders of certain daily habits, such as eating or sleeping: the child feels overwhelmed by events and unable to cope. Such a state of mind prevents him from finding sleep and eating properly.
• Behavioral disorders, characterized by aggressive acts. The child acts in this way to attract attention and manifest the emotions that he can not express freely.
How to fight against SAP
For the youngest children, the experts recommend that contact with the insane parent be maintained.
In the same way, it is advisable not to blame them or criticize their behavior, as this would only amplify the SAP.
The definitive solution of Parental Alienation Syndrome depends mainly on a change of mentality on the part of the alienating parent.
By changing his negative attitude, he can allow the child and the alienated parent to have a stable relationship again.
Generally, it is not easy to arrive at this change, which is why psychological help is often needed to help the alienating parent, but more broadly, all involved family members, whether children or adults.
Handling a child is not acceptable under any circumstances, let alone when emotional and psychological stability is at stake. The end does not justify the means.