Have you ever thought that everything was out of control? Have you ever wanted to stop the world for a moment because of a general chill that you are experimenting with? We have all gone through times when we thought we could not do any more. The routine and the daily stress are generally not friends of the calm and the tranquility.
When you feel that the current situation is beyond you, you end up frustrated and with a feeling of unpleasant fear that can sometimes turn into rage and despair. All this contributes in you to the creation of a haze of thoughts that will prevent you from finding the proper way to cope with what happens to you.
Faced with this scenario, it's important to understand what happens to you before you act. Maybe you only need to breathe and carefully analyze your condition. Let's see what steps to take when we think we're out of control.
How does fear work
Fear is an emotion that suddenly overwhelms you when you are faced with situations that your brain considers to be potentially dangerous for your well-being. In reality, its purpose is not to frighten you, but to prepare you to take action, be it attack or flight. In fact, fear is there to protect you.
The mechanism that triggers fear at the biological level is in the reptilian brain, in the limbic system, which regulates the essential actions for your survival. It regulates your emotions and your functions of conservations. In addition, there is the amygdala which is the brain structure responsible for provoking your feelings of fear and anxiety.
On the other hand,Fear corresponds to the psychological level in an emotional state that helps you to adapt to fear and to protect you. However, this state sometimes responds disproportionately to the situations in which you find yourself. This may cause you to become paralyzed or stunned by not being able to respond appropriately.
Furthermore, Fear can also appear in disguised rage, sadness and even frantic joy. It does not matter the mask with which it is presented. The important thing is to respond assertively to the situation of trouble. For that, it is necessary first to accept the fear that you feel, then to begin to manage it.
The feeling of loss of control
When you become a victim of fear and you think that nothing is in your hands, that you are out of control and that you can not cope with what is happening to you, it is normal to experiment frustration and helplessness. The detail lies in the fact that if fear catches you, you will end up thinking that all that will come will be chaos and that you will never be able to do anything do what will result in a feeling of loss of control.
В "В If you let the feeling of loss of control dominate you, you will end up blocking yourself.В В"Share
If we unite the fear with the feeling of loss of control, the situation will become a perfect formula to wish that the world stops and that you can descend from this one. The bad news is that the world can not stop. Circumstances can not change on demand and neither can people. What must be done?
We have good news: you can pause on the way. In fact, it is a matter of taking a break to reflect. This is a very important pillar that will help you solve your worries because it will allow you to observe the situation from another point of view. We must therefore find a different and much more effective approach.
This proposition is based on circles of influence or control. It is a practice very used by humanistic psychologists having a special relationship with the theoretical development of Viktor Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist.
What are the circles of influence or control
Circles of control are a way of seeing topographically your environment, the influence that you have on him and that which it has on you. For this, it is necessary to develop three main circles:
- Circle of attention: the one on which you have the greatest control. It is related to your actions and your thoughts.
- Circle of influenceВ: that is the one over which you have some control, but not total. It is related to your interpersonal, family, professional relationships and your way of managing them.
- Circle of concern Bit is the one you do not have any influence on. However, this circle may have some on you. It is for example the climate, the traffic, the thoughts of others.
When you feel out of control and need to stop the world for a moment to get out of it because you can not, stop for a moment and think about these circles. Try to differentiate and delineate them and then draw a realistic plan of action.
Any energy you invest in trying to control circles that you do not have influence on is of lost energy and a certain reunion with fear and frustration.
What are the circles of influence?
If you notice it, when you start to differentiate the circles and to define the terrain on which your actions develop, the situation will become less chaotic. Automatically, the paralysis produced by fear in the face of loss of control will begin to be reduced.
В "В The feeling of being out of control begins to diminish when you know how far you can come up with your actions and realize that most of the control is on yourself. .В В "Share
The most important thing is to have in mind that in certain situations, you can exert some influence but the end result does not necessarily depend on you. Therefore, spend the maximum amount of energy in your way of dealing with the circumstances.
Your nearest circle, the one over which you have the most control, is on your own. The way you have to free yourself from unnecessary tasks will allow you to put more effort and energy into your actions. If you are satisfied with what you have achieved, although the circumstances do not end as you would have wished, they will affect you much less.
So, before asking the world to stop, stop by yourself and concentrate again. In the end, the most important thing is to feel satisfied with what you have achieved. If you honestly consider that you have given the best of yourself, the final result will come by itself.
The circumstances in which you can be immersed are often independent of your desire to change them. In fact, it means you do not have control over them. However, you have absolute control over the way you have to let them affect you. Your thoughts and feelings are affected by the environment, but much of the control over them lies within you. You must focus on this point.
В "В If changing a situation that hurts you is not in your hands, you can always choose the attitude with which to deal with this suffering.В В"