Sometimes there is a gap between what a person tells us and what one understands; this shift comes from nonverbal communication (or body language)which allows, if one knows the signals of the body, to better understand the others and to communicate effectively with them.
Facial expressions, movements or gestures can be more or less subtle depending on the person. The way we speak, walk or sit says a lot about ourselves; our feelings contained in us are reflected on the outside.
Sometimes, we can also issue contradictory messages: we say one thing, but our body language says another.
Nonverbal language influences how we act and react with others, but also with ourselves.
Signals showing that the other is confident
By observing others, one can identify with them certain signs and signals that make it possible to know whether they feel safe or not. When a person is confident, he / she issues the following signs:
– she looks you straight in the eye and she is smiling,
– she is standing, shoulders well back,
– the gestures of the hands and arms coincide with what she says,
– she speaks slowly, intelligibly, and in a moderate tone.
Signals showing that the other is on the defensive
The main signs that the person who is speaking is on the defensive are:
– she looks at you little or stares at her feet,
– she is almost impassible,
– the gestures of the hands and arms are small and stay very close to body,
– she is away from you,
– she has her arms crossed
If you detect these signals in the other person, you can then change what the person says, or at least the way they say it, to help them be more welcoming and more receptive.
If, on the contrary, you are on the defensive, you can try to control your own body language in order to make sure that the messages you convey give you the image of someone who is open and listening.
Signals showing that the other is lying
If you are able to tell if a person is lying or not, it's a good start. Here are some of the signs and signals that show that the person is lying:
– she looks at you little in the eyes or not at all in the eyes, or quickly sweeps the surroundings,
– she puts her hand or fingers in front of her mouth when she speaks,
– she is away from you and can do unusual things,
– his breathing accelerates,
– his face and neck blush,
– she sweats more,
– his voice changes, as well as his tone; she can stutter and clear her throat