Manipulators suffer and hurt others.Because of their way of being, it is not easy to live with them. Moreover, when they are nearby, it can be complicated to be good with oneself.
Making a sketch of their "modus operandi" is easy. Understanding their gears, on the other hand, is a much more complex task.The first aspect that we can improve on this profile is perhaps our ability to recognize it. We will be able to help those who suffer from their effects and, at the same time, protect us.
Narcissism is characterized by a disproportionate love for one's own person. People with these characteristicsbelieve they are better than others.This thinking is maintained through different strategies, such as taking into account only the comparisons from which they derive benefits. It's as if they remove the empty part of a glass half full or half empty.
One of the fields in which it is easier to identify these people is dialogue.Instead of being interested in what their interlocutor tells them, they ignore it and are interested only in their own narration. The other does not feel listened to in most cases.
Otherwise,in their own mind, manipulative people have a life full of emotions.When we talk with them, it is common to see them tell that moment when they behaved like heroes. Although this trait is not necessarily a symptom of this type of personality, it can be extremely revealing with all the others that follow.
Machiavellianism is a personality trait that refers to a very concrete trend:treat others as instruments or means and not as ends.Not to hurt someone may be a goal but it will always be a secondary goal if we compare it to the possibility of moving towards goals that have been determined. Some strategies are therefore usual, such as lying or emotional blackmail.
When we face a person who fits this profile,we have the feeling of not doing what we really want.In general, the other convinced us to act in a determined way. In the long run, this deteriorates the relationship and makes it superficial.
3. Need to be superior
Manipulators can not stand to see someone come off.They will do everything they can to be in the center of attention.If necessary, they will not hesitate to make the other person feel bad in order to continue to shine in a social environment.
It is not uncommon, for example, to hear one of these individuals criticize others in a subtle way.In the long run, this can cause insecurity for people who need to interact with a manipulator.
On the other hand, if manipulators feel that someone is stealing their place in a group, they will feel extremely bad.They will do everything in their power to receive the attention of others again.They will tell a story, speak louder …
Another important feature of manipulative people is that theydo not stand for others to succeed where they have failed.This is related to the need to be superior to others.
So, when a friend achieves a goal, it would be normal to be happy for him and to congratulate him. Now, a manipulative personwill feel a lot of rage seeing that he has achieved his goal.She will not hesitate to criticize him, to minimize what he has done, to move away from it …
What to deal with manipulative people?
As you can see, living with a manipulative person can really be difficult. In general,the relationships they create with others are toxic.However, the level of discomfort they cause will depend on their degree of manipulation.
Faced with an individual of this type, there are only two possible behaviors: accept it and try to minimize the damage or end the relationship. Both of these answers are perfectly acceptable.However, we must realize what is really going on to make a good decision.
In the end, if you live with a manipulator,the most important thing is that you know how to set certain limits.If someone manipulates you or makes you feel bad to pass over you, is it really necessary for that person to stay in your life?