"Manipulators seek to persuade others to transgress their limits.
With insinuations, they manipulate the circumstances for their own benefit.
They seduce others to bear their burden. They use messages loaded with guilt. ”
(Cloud, H; Townsend)
In our life, our professional, social or family world, it is common to surround ourselves with people who have a lot of influence on us. When this influence has only one purpose, that of helping to fulfill the needs of that person, at the expense of others, this is called manipulation..
It must be recognized that this type of behavior is very common in many people.
It is very difficult to know that we are manipulated, because these people use mechanisms (deception, threat, fear) in a subtle way, and are masters in the art of manipulating others, even though they understand that this concept is harmful and harmful to others.
Sometimes, we keep our own needs to satisfy those of others, and thus avoid conflicts and keep this link with those people who are close to us. But, in reality, we fall into the trap of manipulation and emotional blackmail.
The great manipulators know, to the millimeter, all our weaknesses, all our secrets, because they are people who know how to get closer to others to know them better, and to take advantage of them. They know exactly what our shortcomings are and what our needs are, and threaten to cut off any connection with us when we are not being manipulated.
They are perfectly capable of concealing, in a very skilful manner, the pressure and the domination they impose on us.
But when this type of person feels that his dominating power is fading, that his authority is being questioned, his manipulative behavior is revealed in broad daylight.
It is certain that the examples we are going to give you will remind you of some memories, because you have certainly heard them in your life:
"If you divorce, I am able to kill children", "My daughter, if you continue this relationship, it is not worth going back home", "If you abandon me, I commit suicide", "Mom, if you force me to do my homework, I'm going to be sick", "You never come to see me, you never call me", "You never worried about this all the suffering that I I endured at that time, "I help you if you promise to offer me something," "I'll take care of you if …".
We are objects in the hands of the manipulative people, when they exert on us their domination.
If you find yourself doing or saying things that you do not completely agree with, but that you have finally accepted, you are the victim of emotional blackmail that manipulates your behavior.
If you comply with the requirements of manipulators, they will continue their manipulation.
It is necessary to start from a solid foundation, to establish the limits of your personal space and your integrity, in which you preserve your needs and desires..
Because the problem is that if you surround yourself with people with this profile, you will end up being a manipulator, not just a victim.