Between the desires and aspirations of most people, we end up finding the person we love. But how can one be loved in return if one is unable to love oneself?
It is often difficult to talk about self-love; but in fact, even if it's a pretty subjective subject, it's not that complicated. Oscar Wilde understood this very well, saying"To love oneself is the beginning of an idyll that lasts a lifetime".
However, this assessment is not objective, because people often tend to underestimate and blindly believe that they need others to be happy, or worse, that they need their approval. constant to feel in harmony with themselves. This is a very bad lesson that we learned from our earliest childhood.
What society imposes on us
We know thatit is normal to impose on the youngest a whole series of norms or obligations, certainly contrary to their nature, but which are nevertheless necessary if they are to become aware of their duty to adapt to the norms. of the society.
Indeed, it is better to do everything to not disturb, annoy or inconvenience others than to feel in harmony with oneself. This is for example to say to a child: "Do not draw blue cows, it does not exist and it will never exist, you have to draw them as they are in reality".
The continual threat of so-called "telling" also greatly prevents each individual from living as he sees fit. Apart from the fact that we can not please everyone, there are two things that we sometimes do not realize.
On the one hand, of course, we must respect others, but they also owe us respect. On the other hand, we are all individuals, and as such we have the right to live according to our own values, desires and aspirations, and our choices, everyone must respect them.
And when is marriage?
The social pressures are very present in all this. In fact, society has exercised and continues to exert such pressure that at a certain age, one must be married and have children.
In her twenties, during highly moral discussions, who never heard the typical question: "And marriage is for when?"
As a result, many are eager to marry or find the person they "love", or at least, to make them feel loved. But, the sad truth is that it's exactly the wrong thing to do. Evidenced by the divorce rate which is today very high.
Many people are unable to accept themselves; they leave no room for error and are hard on themselves. Therefore, they expect the same from others, especially from the person with whom they have chosen to share their lives.
But, if they do not love themselves, if they do not accept themselves as they are, how can they hope to be loved in return?
Take life in both hands
Smile, make mistakes, learn from them, laugh out loud when something goes wrong; life is made to be lived, to benefit from it.
If you spend all your time trying to meet one of the most insane standards (because most of them have no logical basis), then you will do nothing to know and respect yourself, to love you as you are, to recognize your qualities (because everyone has qualities).
And it's a shame … because when we get there, when we finally manage to love ourselves, we end up meeting the person who will love us for what we arewithout a mask, without artifice, without obscuring any part of us.