What happens when the couple replaces friendships? What do we really lose when we leave our friends out for a relationship? To know how to find time for both, friendship and love, is an important point to allow a relationship to be fruitful.
When starting a relationship, it is normal to have less time to share with friends. Plans with the partner are sometimes more attractive. Fruit of the state in love, one has more desire to know the other one and to take advantage of these first moments. This is a new situation that needs attention, but the total abandonment of the group of friends should not be an option.
A group of researchers led by Robin Dunbar did a study and revealed that when you start a relationship, you lose two of our five closest friends. In addition to this, it has been claimed that couples who know how to take advantage of the time they share with their friends and own individual land, show better satisfaction in their relationship.
This is because they learn to divide their time to continue to maintain what makes them happy and generates well-being in them. In this way, they transmit their emotional state to their partner and strengthen their relationship.
Love comes and goes, but true friendship is something that lasts in time. However, we must look for times to continue sharing experiences with our friends, whatever the situation. According to Robin Dunbar's studies, choosing to share and not dedicate 100% of our time to the partner will improve the sentimental situation. That does not mean that we have to ignore our partner. We have to look for moments to do and to be with the people we love and appreciate.
Leave everything out of love
This sentence is very typical and seems very romantic, but those who abandon everything for love, abandon themselves personally to enter a "let's be together" that does not involve a total union of two complete people, but a real symbiosis. In this way, part of the individuality is lost to form a collective whole: two incomplete beings united to fill the gaps.
But love is not that, love is the respect of the partner and his time, his friends. In the end, it is the respect for his life and his choice to allow us to share it, but not to live it entirely together. Trust and communication allow couples to enjoy their individual territory, regardless of the sentimental relationship, without negative consequences.
"I leave everything out of love" is a selfish decision. Moreover, it implies that if at some point the relationship ends, nothing will remain, which will make the break even more difficult. To continue dedicating time to our passions, to our space and to maintain friendships allows to live a balanced life, that we decide to share with someone. Do not forget it.
Friendship also requires time
Maintaining friendships requires understanding, but also time, in the same way as building a relationship. It is a time that can not have the same proportion as before, but must be sincere, quality and dedicated with love when granted. You should take advantage.
So, friendship is also a kind of love for which one must work, pay attention and care like a garden. He lies in our hands. It's our decision. We must allow and encourage these bonds not to break only because of the beginning of a relationship.
It is difficult to think that after a friend has abandoned us for love, he will come back to us later to make up for lost time or lost friendship. It's difficult because nobody likes to be abandoned, although there's always time to learn that love comes and goes but that friendship will always remain there. The friendship will always be authentic.