Love at first sight, love at the crossroads

Love at first sight, love at the crossroads

Love at first sight is like two eyes that unite. These are four eyes that collide and converge soul to soul from the first minute to stop time. It is also the mystery of a meeting where chemistry orchestrates attraction, but where the connection allows the heart to start afresh.

The idea captivates, but the reality is sometimes very different. The love at first sells. We love it and we configure this image so often repeated in the world of cinema, literature and advertising that fascinates us so much.

Even more, Dr. Earl Naumann, from the University of Arizona, reminds us in his book titledLove at first sight: the stories and science behind instant attraction, that more than half of us believe in love at first sight. That it takes a look to trigger love, so that it is born and conquers us totally, cutting our breath.

"Love is present in the world to forget the world."
-Paul Eluard-
This neurochemical spark, full of uncertainty, desire, mystery and illusion, has its reasons. Thus, and although we can not observe it under the microscope or in an experimental room, much of the work done so far says the same thing.The love at first sight exists. There are nevertheless a series of conditions that accompany it and that we must not forget.

Do not call it love, call it attraction

There are hurried loves. They do not know the times, arise in an instant and in the most unexpected places. Love at first sight has always occurred and will continue to happen at any moment. There are also slow-fire loves, which are cooked slowly and in a temperate way, which begin with a sincere friendship to become, suddenly, a genuine passion.

Love does not deal with standards, criteria, and orders as to how it appears. We know that. However, if we want to maintain this love that sometimes comes up suddenly, we will need an order, negotiated agreements, an emotionally agreed emotional democracy. We say this for an obvious reason.The machine is startedby attractionin love at first sight, not by reason.

It's desire and illusion. It is the magnetism, the halo effect and the chemical sinking generated by serotonin and dopamine. This is the gateway that will facilitate a relationship, which will provide more opportunities for this first appointment to occur.It is a love that happens without warning but that will require a more meticulous maturation. A maturation to dissociate the mysteries of reality, to leave illusions aside to contemplate realities.

Love at first sight: what science says

The University of the Netherlands has conducted a study in 2017 on this subject. 600 people who experienced what they themselves defined as "love at first sight" were followed in the course of the research entitled "What kind of love is love at first sight? An empirical investigation?".

92% of this sample started a relationship after this meeting, a cross of looks where most had the absolute certainty that they had found someone really special. The researchers then conducted an interview with each couple to further explore certain psychological dimensions.

Love at first sight is related to physical appearance (and something else)

Physical attraction is undeniably present in love at first sight. It is not always necessary, however, to present this external and unmistakable beauty which captures our attention on the second.Scientists explain that there is something else. Something that is transmitted through looks and offers confidence, sympathy, that connects with comfort and lack of fear.

The halo effect

As we have pointed out, there will probably be a first date when two people are attracted by this exchange of glances. However, after the appearance of magnetism resulting from this exchange of glance, weoften start to create a series of ideals that do not always conform to reality.

This attraction leads us to project on the other a series of very specific positive qualities. We see him smarter, more noble, original, trustworthy and committed.We create a halo effect that, added to the passion, will make this feeling more sustainable over time. Until sooner or later appear some elements more or less tolerable.

Love at first sight favors romantics

It was possible in the above study to find that a significant portion of the sample studied maintains this relationship over time and successfully. In other words,this love resulting from love at first sight often lasts, matures and becomes a satisfying relationship.

However,the relationship ends in most cases when the passion fades. When the illusion comes up against reality and the couple can not convert this commitment into a relationship based on intimacy, trust, affection and reciprocity.

It was also found in this study thatmany of those couples who had based their relationship on love at first sight were strong advocates of romantic love. For them, aspects such as predestination or soul mate were obvious facts, which explained success in the relationship.

To conclude, science can not deny that love at first sight exists in certain cases, and that it triumphs. In most cases, however, there is simply an attraction behind those eyes that meet, discover, and connect.

Theattraction is always this channel of inexplicable power that acts in the first place. It is the first step towards a bond that will have to mature day by day and overcome its own difficulties to prosper in a successful and happy relationship.

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