To ridicule oneself is one of the great fears of those who take their ego too much to heart. Of course, not making mistakes or showing weaknesses, especially at critical moments, can help us. But if we do not do it, even in the moments mentioned above, it will not be the end of the world either.
The feeling of ridicule is experienced as something worse than just shame. In general, we associate an error, a failure or the fact of being mistaken for disapproval. However, in the case of ridicule, what is "heard in the background" is laughter. And it is precisely this mockery that increases the feeling of shame. We are thus faced with a scenario that can also cause confusion or tension.
In the end, what makes something ridiculous is its disproportion or inadequacy. Therefore, formal situations are fertile ground for it to occur. These generally require to respect more or less rigid protocols. Moving away from the gun is therefore relatively easy. Despite this, ridicule is so democratic that it can happen anywhere. Nobody escapes him and we have all tasted the flavor.
"If the ridiculous side does not show up in men, it's because we have not looked for it."
-François de La Rochefoucauld-
The clown and the ridiculous
The clown is precisely this character who makes ridicule his comedy tool. Clowns are anything that can be considered ridiculous. Their clothing is exaggerated, weird. Their shoes are huge, their red noses and their facial makeup give them an absurd look. They use clothes that simulate an elegant cut, like a costume, full of colors and very visible elements.
A good part of the clowns' show is to stumble and fall. What causes hilarity in the audience is that they are still victims of their own distraction. They are interested in something else and suddenly something gets in their way, making them fall to the ground. And they fall dramatically, never discreetly.
A good clown theme is full of misunderstandings. They eat a piece of cardboard thinking it's a cake. Or they give a kiss to something horrible, thinking to join their lips to those of a beautiful woman. Or they undertake the wrong mission because they misinterpreted the instructions. The world of clowns is the world of ridicule, but also that of innocent laughter.
Laughing of oneself
In reality, only ridicule occurs, in the strict sense, when those who make the mistake or make mistakes take it too seriously. If someone, for example, does not know how to dance, but pretends to know, he may look very silly and start laughing. On the other hand, if he agrees not to know how to dance and has fun with his own limits, he immediately looks more fun.
What is the difference between one situation and the other? it boils down to one word: self-esteem. Someone with a high self-esteem is always able to laugh at himself, because he accepts himself. This includes the tolerance of one's own mistakes or limitations. On the other hand, when there is insecurity and lack of confidence in what we are, falling into a ridiculous can cause a strong emotional injury.
The real mistake is to believe that you are worthy of being appreciated when you are good or seem so. When we do not make mistakes. When we do not do or say something inappropriate. In this case, there is no real appreciation for oneself, but rather a simulated self-evaluation.
We all have facets or clumsy or inappropriate behaviors. It's normal. All it takes is a distraction or a little misunderstanding for us to make a mistake in social terms. Faced with this, there is only one antidote: to be authentic and therefore humble.
We can not claim to have good behavior in all circumstances. What we can do is work to be proud of who we are, to paint a portrait of a sincere person. That is with defects, virtues, mistakes and successes. This will allow us to eliminate this desire to hide, disguise or allow us to show only facets that we think others will like most.
We can become familiar with ridicule. Adopt absurd gestures or postures in front of a mirror or go out on the street without getting too busy. Put something original that attracts attention or generates surprise. By doing this, we will realize that we remain the same and we can even accompany the laughter of those we enjoy.
Most importantly, when we allow ourselves to ridicule ourselves from time to time, without affecting it, we also discover that we can live more relaxed and happier. Nothing nourishes the feeling of fullness as much as being spontaneous. Nothing makes us so sure as to free us from the "what will we say".