Is monogamy an ideal more than a reality?

Is monogamy an ideal more than a reality?

Even in monogamous societies, infidelity is common. The same can be said for the majority of the animal kingdom. Few remain faithful, but the reasons why this happens are far from romantic. Understanding why monogamy works so little for animals and why it fails so often can bring us a lot of information about our relationships.

Despite the thousands of poems, songs, novels, operas, dramas, myths and legends that have been created around falling in love, very few scientists have given this passion the study it deserves.

Nevertheless, scientists at the University of Cambridge have been able to decipher the process by which mammals adopt social monogamy as a strategy for education. These same scientists have discovered the fact that sexual monogamy in mammals is more like an ideal than a reality. deepen.

"The monogamy of many men is based on laziness, that many women on the habit."

-Victor Hugo-

Genetic and psychological factors that influence monogamy

Monogamy is a concept that refers to the development of a single relationship for both a man and a woman. In fact, humans are one of the only species to practice monogamy. However, we all know that most of the time, it does not happen that way.

Not everyone is unfaithful, but according to Professor Tim Spector's study, we are genetically prepared to be. This is one of the most important factors associated with infidelity: 40% of infidelities are due to genetic factors.

Spector's study of 1600 pairs of twins demonstrates that infidelity hides behind a considerable genetic influence. For this reason, the logical conclusion is that this behavior persists because it is advantageous from an evolution point of view.

Psychological factors that affect fidelity include emotional, personal and sexual satisfaction. A person who likes routine and established things will have fewer urges to get out of it. If this predisposition is associated with a high flux of neurotransmitters of serotonin, then fidelity will be the most satisfactory option. On the contrary, people who are looking for intense sensations with low levels of serotonin and dopamine are more likely to be unfaithful.

A study by professors Steven Gangestad, Randy Thornhill and Christine Garver of the University of New Mexico showed that women are sexually more active a few days before, during and after their ovulation period. It would not be a problem if the desire was manifested only to their husbands. But the results show that women have a greater sexual and fanciful interest in other men when they are fertile.

Authentic fidelity is decided by the one who delivers it, never by the one who receives it.

Sexual monogamy VS social monogamy

According to recent research, mammals are more likely to be monogamous socially than sexually. As we can see in our society, however, there are exceptions. As we have seen, monogamy depends on psychological and genetic factors.

Social monogamy refers to the fact that one has only one partner while one commits infidelities in the back of the person concerned. According to some authors, it would be a reproductive strategy to transmit our genes to the next generation and to educate children.

Recent research from Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy assures us that between 45 and 55% of married women are unfaithful. For sex therapist Janis Springs, author of After the Affaire, infidelity affects almost a third of couples. On average, statistics on infidelity indicate that 60% of men are unfaithful and 40% of women follow in their footsteps.

The result is that in 80% of couples, at least one of the two members has an adventure. It would seem, then, that sexual monogamy is more an ideal than a reality. On the contrary, social monogamy is the majority in the educational style of Western society. And you what do you think ?

"Monogamy: Indispensable or necessary? The second is more beautiful, it implies a choice, it does not have the ugliness of the norm."

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