How many times have we been told or heard "never change"? So, in a way,the change can be seen as negative, as a weakness : "he has changed, he is no longer the same". Change is necessary. It is natural and essential for survival, although many see it as something negative. But, is it possible to change and stay the same?
There is resistance, internal or internal to our environment, to most of the changes we make to adapt. This type of resistance also acts against the change when the latter is announced or begins. The same is true when the change begins to take hold and sometimes even when it has been consolidated. Is it possible that these changes, these transformations, allow us to maintain our essence? Is it possible to maintain continuity or consistency between who we were, are and will be?
In this article we will discuss the theme of personal change. We will try to understand why there is a resistance to change and why it can be "disapproved". Finally USwill try to present reasons supporting the idea that we can change and stay the same.
Why do some people resist change and see it as a weakness?
Resistance to change is normal. All systems have internal forces that seek permanence and stability. In other words,maintaining the daily dynamics of operation (although it may be problematic) is easier than creating an alternative, different or new dynamic. We already have some automated habits and others have adapted to them. Even the routine allows us to be predictable. It makes it possible not to generate in others the need to adapt to the new conditions that we pose. Therefore, short-term permanence is usually more comfortable than change. Hence one of the resistances to the latter.
On the other hand, people resist change as they become accustomed over time to habits and coping styles.They spend a lot of time creating psychological tools to handle difficult times. And even if these tools are not appropriate, they are theirs, their personal creation.
This is how resistance to change is born. And it can be considered a weakness. Indeed,if we acted in such a way for so long and it seemed effective: why change it now?As we have said before, the people around us feel more comfortable and relaxed if they can predict our attitudes, responses and behaviors. If we change, this prediction turns out to be almost impossible for a while. Or does it become more precarious. So that, unwittingly, those around us are also seeking permanence and stability. They can even resist the changes we propose.
"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change."-Stephen Hawking-
Change can be seen as a weakness. The fact that a person changes their mind may lead others to see it as insecure, fickle and unpredictable. However,change of opinion, when we believe that the one we defended before was bad, is a smart decision in the long run, and brave. Otherwise, it is very likely that we will end up being prisoners of our own contradiction. We would think something and defend the opposite.
Similarly,the change of opinion is the result of a process of reflection in which, by receiving new information and perceiving reality in another way, we realize that what we think no longer helps us, is no longer correct. This is fantastic! What defines us would be this intelligent way of proceeding and not one or the other opinion.
Althoughthe process of change involves a personal metamorphosis in which many of our ideas or characteristics are involvedwe can, by changing, have the feeling that we give up a part of our "being". And all the more so if we take into account that our environment can perceive change as a weakness.
Change and stay the same: a possible challenge
In most cases, the process of personal change aims to bring out the best in each individual. What we call change is actually the result of freeing the person from his chains, his limits and his fears. We do not really change. Instead, we remove the barriers and stay true to our essence by letting it express itself and spread its wings.
How is it possible to change and stay the same? We can do this by seeking to revolve around our own axis, looking at the reality from different points of view, knowing how to appreciate the comprehensiveness and the exceptional nature of each situation. And from there we choose how to behave, what to think and what to say according to the moment and our feelings.We can change without preconceived and rigid rules that oblige us to act always in the same way, whether we feel it or not.
To change and to remain the same supposes to leave aside any kind of orthodoxy or rule, consciously choosing the way to show oneself to the world at this particular moment.All this allows the individual to be true to his essence. So that he can change and stay the same in some way. Because choosing to position ourselves according to how we feel and not what we "must do" is the most free and legitimate way of not betraying ourselves.
Eastern philosophy and the art of changing and staying the same
Eastern philosophy explains that virtue lies in not stagnating, becoming aware of one's own fixations and limitations and overcoming or transcending them.. This is the means we have to change and stay the same. Indeed, we are opening up a space for our true being to emerge, manifest and develop.
Different teachers of Eastern philosophy explain that changing and staying the same is not a skill that can be learned easily or quickly. Indeed, it requires a constant effort. Moreover, it is so becauseour psychological system, seeking the economy or the need to seek permanence, seeks to remain stable and to have solid pillars.
"Excuse me, I did not recognize it: I changed a lot."-Oscar Wilde-
"Water always wins because it adapts to everything: it can be a fluid, a solid or a gas, it can be soft or hard, rigid or elastic, immobile or impetuous, calm or stormy. slowly or take away, avoid an obstacle or collide violently with him, rush or splash.Water is the natural analogy of change as an ability to adapt strategically to different circumstances” .
And if we were like water … what would happen?