"Sometimes we confuse wanting to be alone with the need to be with the right person"
Being a couple is based on mutual respect, offers many satisfactions, produces well-being and can be a great help. Personal development is shared and everyone acquires a unique and wonderful learning.
What happens if someone does not have a partner or does not want one?
"People who have satisfying and stable relationships are balanced, they do not look for someone who" blocks a hole, "they recognize their own worth.
We are talking about a point of view and a very personal choicethat many people have other priorities in life than having a partner, and that's quite respectable.
For these people having a partner can be a conflict with the lifestyle they wish to follow, and that is why she does not want a life of a couple.
Being in a relationship is a choiceit is not a necessity, because it depends on what each person wants for his life. We can live perfectly without a partner becauseour own value as a person and the satisfaction that we can have, do not depend on being in a relationship or not.
The relationships of couples that we maintain also say a lot about us, about our insecurities, our vulnerabilities and our fears.
Sometimes, it seems that we repeat the same pattern with all our partners, although each time it leads us to total dissatisfaction. This does not happen by chance, and this repetition is related to what we have to learn to maintain a healthy relationship.
What is a healthy relationship?
Often we stay with people who fill us with bitterness and dissatisfaction.
The experience of experiencing love in a relationship is a long journey and shared ripeningIn which we learn many things from ourselves, we exchange tastes, passions and pleasures.
However, we also share difficulties, fears and gaps that correspond to our inner openness to the other person with whom we decided to share our life.
We thus reveal to the other the most intimate nooks that we hide or disguise normally.
The relationship of the couple ceases to be healthy when there is an emotional dependence, which places our value in the other person. This way of being with the other can be very harmful.
With or without a partner, the most important thing is to love oneself first and foremost, to esteem yourself and respect yourself.
In this way, whether or not we want to have a partner, we can really bond with others in a satisfying way, with these pillars to maintain a healthy relationship.
The goal of maintaining emotional ties with others is to feel good. It is therefore important to distinguish between the need to obtain this well-being through someone or to share it.
A healthy relationship implies acceptance, to share what we are with each other in a common space, which also allow us to enjoy our own space.
Why do we think it is mandatory to be in a relationship?
In our society, the most common is to live in a relationshipor at least that's what we are made to believe, through the media of communication, literature and our education.
Looking for a partner can become an obligation, and make us feel bad about not having anotherhalf.
This idea was also introduced by films and stories, which give great importance to romantic loveto princes and princesses, and to the fact that one must suffer for love.
All this is only a myth and leads us to think: "You should have a partner to be happy / se".
The marriage and the couple are consolidated in our culture like an essantial nucleus in the organization of our societies. However, many people decide not to be in a relationshipfor a time or for the rest of their lives.
The important issue of this topic is to take into account thatentering a relationship is a choice and not a necessity.
When it appears to be a necessity, it follows from dependence, conformism and feelings of possession, and the relationship is then built on despair.
"Knowing how to situate love in our life and knowing how to situate ourselves in the face of love requires a work of personal development so as not to confuse love with other things: possession, pressure, cancellation, etc. day after day the art of loving is to consider love as an art: the art of sharing harmony, creation. "(Fina Sanz)