Irascible people: anger as a means of communication

Irascible people: anger as a means of communication

Irascible people are addicted to constant nervousness. Punching on the table, slamming doors, shouting, even anger … People with this type of profile can not communicate without raising their voices. They lose control, and often they can not be contradicted. Thus, behind this difficult behavior lies often a fragile being who makes use of anger as a defense mechanism.

It has happened to all of us at certain moments of our life to lose our calm. So we know what we feel when hatred paralyzes us and when, almost knowing how, we burst in the most untimely and the least clever way possible. What is interesting about these experiences is that they give us good lessons. They teach us how important the assertive attitude is to dealing with these complicated situations where our emotional maturity is put to the test.

The irascible person is someone who has learned to bond with the world through anger and hatred to get what they want.
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On the other hand, there is one crucial aspect that is important to consider: anger remains today this emotion little or not at all understood. We could say that irascible people are those presences which it is better to avoid in our daily life to preserve our balance and our health.

However, nothing is more relevant than understanding what anger is made of. Let us make good use of psychology, and let us understand that behind that angry child, that bitter friend and that leader who does not know how to handle frustration, there is someone who is unable to speak any other language than this one. Someone who fights against himself and who does not know what to do or where does this explosive hate and this poisoned negativity come from.

Irascible people: why do they act like this?

In French, there is a word that perfectly conveys these passive-aggressive behaviors in people who make anger their mode of communication; we speak of "implied", namely what we understand between the lines, or under the stated statements. What is hiding under this wolf skin that makes use of this devastating emotional intensity? The answer can not be simpler: there is another wolf, but an injured wolf.

Let's look at some of these characteristics that could explain the occurrence of this type of dynamics in irascible people:

  • Excessive anxiety: people who react with anger are usually very anxious. These are people who, from an early age, worry about anything, who face any stimulus react with intense fear and concern. Thus, once in adulthood, this persistent anxiety about what is beyond their control or the unexpected is translated into hatred. This emotion is nothing more than a disproportionate defense mechanism by which to react to anything and anyone.
  • Anger as an answer to any negative emotion: people with this personality do not know if they feel sadness, disappointment, fear, worry, surprise or shame. All these emotions could be understood and translated in the same way: with anger.
  • Anger is an accumulative problem: when an emotion is not channeled, understood or managed, it accumulates. Moreover, irascible people hang behind them a history of frustrations accumulated for decades. Thus, the most insignificant acts become triggers for all this torrent of anger contained within.
  • Anger and paranoia: this relationship is as problematic as it is important. The irascible people are made of anxiety, convulsed emotions misunderstood and a well of hate more than visible. All this deep architecture builds in many cases the appearance of paranoid behavior. Anything represents a threat to them, they are wary, they think that others are there to hurt them, to ridicule them. These are very wearying situations.

How to learn to manage anger?

Irascible people do not have a good quality of life. This is an aspect that from a clinical point of view can not and should not be left out. Thus, as we know from several studies, this type of personality is more likely to suffer from heart problems, cerebrovascular accidents, respiratory problems, a weak immune system … Anger causes anger, and moreover, sets insurmountable distances with those whom these people love.

So, very often, irascible people apply what is called anger misplaced. They may be angry at something or someone, and yet end up projecting all their negative energy on those who deserve it the least: children, partner, etc. It is therefore essential to provide these people with remedies and strategies to understand that anger is not an adequate channel of communication, but that it is assertiveness that will enable them to survive much more. easily in any scenario.

Let's take a look at some simple strategies to think about, which can be used to better manage this emotion:

  • We must understand what is anger and what is its purpose ⇔ It is, in essence, an answer that our brain emits to attack or escape a danger. It is a purely biological and physiological manifestation.
  • The second step is to learn to identify the emotions themselves and understand what motivates themWhat I feel, is it sadness? What was it motivated by? If what I feel is shame, what is its origin?
  • Breathing techniques: A good way to channel the anger and the hatred that blocks our body and mind is to learn to relax, breathe, focus on our muscles in tension and our fast heartbeat to calm them down. Only then can we have clear ideas and react more adequately.
  • Replacing anger with assertiveness: Another goal to reach in irascible people is to learn to relax assertively. They must replace the use of anger as a form of language through assertive communication to make it their best tool.

To conclude, we wanted to point out one last aspect: sometimes, the irascible person not only uses verbal violence, but also sometimes physical violence, which can become recurrent. So do not hesitate to intervene in these cases and take measures that protect us if we are victims of the actions of this kind of people, or action measures if we derive ourselves from these dynamics.

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