Cognitive psychology has taught us that our way of seeing the events that happen to us, determined our emotional well-being.
In the scientific literature we can observe a large number of examples of erroneous thoughts, which people support despite the lack of logic and the suffering they can cause.
In this article we will focus on one of the most common dysfunctional thoughts: arbitrary inference (ie hasty conclusions), or clairvoyance errors.
Here is an example :
"Carla started working in an important company in her city, it's the job of her dreams, but it's not to everyone's liking, she thinks her colleagues do not like her and they talk badly of her in his back.
The other day, she saw two colleagues whispering in a corner and laughing loudly and realized that they were looking at her from the corner of her eye from time to time.
Carla thinks of giving up the work of her dreams because it is unbearable for her that people speak badly of her. It could go back to the boss, who could even fire her! ".
Let's stop this story for a moment … What is our protagonist doing? Obviously, she is drawing hasty and hasty conclusions from a concrete fact that can not be validated or demonstrated.
Carla thinks her colleagues are talking badly about her because she saw two people talking and laughing … Is it logical? Does seeing two people talking and laughing in one corner suffice to believe that they are criticizing her?
But they look at her from the corner of their eyes! So what ? They probably do it because Carla is also watching them while they laugh, thinking they are criticizing her.
Carla hurts herself thinking so. She generates terrible anxiety and she is about to make a wrong decision because of this way of interpreting things.
She is creating the paradoxical effect typical in psychology: for fear of being criticized and losing her job, it is she who will take the step of resigning and thus losing the job of her dreams.
This story is far more common than one might think. The human being tends to look at his belly button, protect his ego at all costs and draw hasty conclusions from isolated facts.
We often distort reality, which obviously generates erroneous and disproportionate emotions.
It is so important to learn to think correctly!
Thinking properly does not mean being optimistic or positive, but learning to see life with the clean glasses of our glasses.
It is to perceive the world as it is, without distorting reality and inventing stories that exist only in our minds.
To be more realistic, Carla should be more scientific and take the time to analyze all possible alternatives Maybe it's just a hilarious conversation between two people.
His colleagues may just be talking about work, telling each other jokes, or talking about things that have nothing to do with our protagonist.
They may also be talking about Carla badly, but we can not let our impulses prevent us from considering other options.
It would not be logical or rational to pretend to be able to guess the thoughts of othersbecause we are not soothsayers!
Even if our opinion turns out to be true, it is surely not as terrible as we tend to believe.
What is so terrible about a criticism? Certainly it can be embarrassing and unpleasant but by no means a drama!
Stop generating so much absurd tension because you are not diviners.
You must learn to base yourself on real facts and not to be carried away by your own unfounded interpretations, which can not be validated until they are proven.
So, relax and move on.