They say that the past is still happening. It means that everything we have lived remains in us, one way or another. It's inevitable. However, from there to remain immersed in the past, without the possibility of overcoming the past, there is a whole abyss.
Miguel Hernández's poem says: "Everything goes and everything stays, but what we do is go” . That is true. It is impossible to flee what we have been, the traces that life has left in us. Nevertheless, it is fundamental to overcome the past to move forward.
"The past is a prologue."
However, the only way to overcome the past is to assume it in depth, to identify how it has shaped us and to clarify what it teaches us. On the other hand, if we do not look at him from the front, he may be confined to a corner of our memory where he is not present, but he continues to gravitate around our lives.
The irremediable of the past
One of the factors that prevents us from overcoming the past is the difficulty of accepting what happened and that there is no turning back. This seems obvious, but in the human being there is a lot of irrationality. So, even if it does not help, we are sometimes sorry for what happened or did not happen.
This happens when there are unintended feelings about what happened. There can be a strong sense of guilt. Sometimes we are unable to forgive an offense, injury or injury. Even sometimes, we can not forgive ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we punish ourselves for doing something or not doing something.
Reflection on the past must lead to the question: is it possible to make amends? If there is still something to do, the right thing to do is to act. Instead of regretting or lamenting, simply do what needs to be done to give a different resolution to what has happened. If it is no longer possible to do something, the important thing is to cry if we have to cry, and to extract the teaching from what we have experienced.
To overcome the past, accept and let go
The impossibility of overcoming the past leads us to place ourselves in imaginary scenarios. This is the domain of "and if" … This can lead us to long reflections. We fantasize about other possible outcomes. We aspire to a life where what happened would not have happened. In the end, we are at the same point, with the aggravating factor of renewed frustration.
To accept the past is to admit that things will never be the same again. It does not matter what we do, even if we reverse the damage or the consequences. None of our actions can bring us back to yesterday's situation, which is no more.
It takes courage to accept, let go and overcome the past. The will to do it is not enough. Transcending what happened is not an act of strength, but perseverance and conviction. There is a moment to talk about yesterday but there comes a time when it is logical to leave it behind.
Learning to live in the present
There are many cases where it is not enough to want to live in the present to achieve it. In such cases, we must do more than just serve a purpose. It is necessary to create circumstances that call us to this present. That allows us to place ourselves in the here and now, because they demand our attention. Sometimes it is necessary to build a new present to overcome the past.
To situate ourselves in the present, we must break the ties that unite us to the past. At least, all these links that we can eliminate. They say the best way to leave is to not look back. This is why it is important to eradicate everything that leads us to look at what has already happened. This gives us greater freedom and allows us to reflect without the anxiety of what continues to extend or to show its consequences.
It's also important that we start filling our lives with new things. New friends, new hobbies, new interests. It's time to renew ourselves, to change our lives. We will probably not have much enthusiasm at first. Something in us always pushes us to continue to do the same. Let's fight against this inertia and let ourselves be surprised by life. However, if all this is impossible, do not hesitate to seek the help of a professional.