I need help: Rowing in solitude is exhausting

I need help: Rowing in solitude is exhausting

I need help. I am exhausted, at the end of my strength. I'm tired of row alone, to pretend to be able to bear everything without being able to move forward. I need a life ring, a friendly hand that can guide me. Because in some moments, there are no other solutions than to ask for help, to accept the help that can allow us to approach our problems from another perspective.

It is said that all unhappy people have something in common: rancor. However, all resentments do not have the same relief and the same context. Some people appropriate this malaise and normalize it. In this way, they swallow their misfortune to accumulate additional weight: that of regrets, that of resentment, that of bad mood and deformed thoughts that they feed, just as the wood fuels the fire, that the emotional state that we cross.

In these cases, asking for help is nothing more than a crime, a sign of weakness. Some blame others for hoping that they will guess what is happening and act accordingly. Fortunately, some people take the plunge and allow themselves to ask for help. To be quiet and to endure the situation has its limits: Although offering is not necessarily simpler than receiving, at times it is important to know how to ask for help.

"Helping the one who needs it is not only part of the duty, but part of the happiness."

-Jose Marti

I need help, I have reached the limit

Albert Ellis, a recognized cognitive psychotherapist, developed in the 1950s what we know today as Emotional Rational Therapy. This approach contains an aspect that is worth remembering. We often fall into helpless states and states of despair thinking that life can not treat us in a worse way. We are then a paper boat drifting away. However, as Ellis would say "It's not the facts that alter us, but the interpretation we make of it".

To be able to count on someone who can make us aware of this is probably the greatest resource. We all know that it is not easy to say aloud "I need help ". How to do it ? Strange as it may seem, the next thing can happen: the one with the greatest need for support is the one who will have the most reluctance to solicit it.

Those who need help the most are also the most used to making theirs available and are not used to receiving it.. So when we go beyond this limit and finally demand the right to be listened to, cared for and cherished, we do it because we can not anymore. We have reached our limit.

"People often say that they have not found themselves personally, but the" self "is not something that can be found, but rather something that is created".

-Thomas Szasz-

What indicators tell me it's time to ask for help?

It is not necessary to reach this limit, this border which one exceeds by being practically destroyed while going until the consultation of a clinical psychologist. How do we face our reality? Although this step may be beyond our control, few indicators can be clearer. Let's look at some of the indicators that may be useful before reaching this limit.

  • We experience and feel everything intensely and disproportionately. A simple mistake becomes a disaster, the bad mood can invade us for several days or even weeks, a disappointment immobilizes us, the unforeseen exceed us …
  • Some things, ideas, memories, sensations can not leave our minds. In addition, all these images and thoughts can end up interfering with our daily missions and obligations.
  • We experience recurrent headaches, digestive and muscular problems, we suffer from insomnia or excessive sleep …
  • Things that we previously liked have now lost all their meaning or interest.
  • We stopped being productive at work.
  • Our relations are now more tense. Phrases such as "tu take everything literally, we can not talk to you "People who really love us will say that they are really worried about us.

What can I expect from those who help me?

When I need help, I look for three things: being listened to, not being judged for what I think or doing, being offered resources to generate positive change. We can get that from a friend and a family member, we've all done it at least once. However, at certain moments of your personal life, it is necessary to seek the help of a specialized professional.

This trained and empowered psychologist with a range of concrete skills can offer the following:

  • Learn to see our problems from another perspectivee. A perspective where there are no walls, a perspective where we will stop seeing ourselves as a victim, but where we will see ourselves as a potential agent of our own reality (the one that we can change).
  • He will make us discover inner realities that we did not know or we did not think about it. He will be an agent of our personal discovery.
  • We must not wait for a psychologist to give us advice or guide our actions to know what we should and should not do. A psychologist enlightens us and helps us to be ourselves. Thanks to him, we will find the answer to our problems, we will be the creators of our changes and our decisions.
  • It will help us relieve our suffering by gaining new perspectives of understanding and action.
  • A psychologist will provide us with adequate resources to manage our emotions, avoid painful thought patterns, and apply proper self-control techniques.
  • It will help us define our priorities and act on them.
  • This professional will allow us to have an attitude of growth, This will enable us to make decisions about ourselves, to position ourselves in the world of courage, openness and responsibility.

Having difficulty can make life easier

To conclude, dare to say aloud "I need aide "Sometimes it's harder than we would like, but simply making the request to cover that need is a big step.

Seeking this specialized support that allows us to initiate change can be one of the best decisions. Whether we want it or not, sometimes we can not do it all alone. At times, therapy becomes the best path to a new stage in our lives.

I'm going to the psychologist and I'm not crazy

Regardless of the reasons that lead you to therapy, THERE IS NOTHING OF A NEGATIVE TO DO IT. Let's think about it together. Learn more
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