Hyper-children, children of excessive protection and stress

Hyper-children, children of excessive protection and stress

Hyper-children are the product of hyper-parenting. This is a new dynamic that is increasingly present. It is associated with the neglect of important aspects of childhood such as play, relationship with nature, boredom and confrontation with problems. It is an educational style based on overprotection and over-consideration and compliments.

A hyper-child meets the needs of others before their own needs. These are children belonging to a generation that has little time to make personal discoveries and to promote interpersonal development as well as that of personality traits during childhood.

What does the term "hyper-child" mean?

The terms "hyper-child" or "hyper-parenthood" refer to families who focus their efforts on the control of children and, consequently, on their detachment from activities associated with their age.. They thus become individuals little independent of those who expect them to be perfect.

The term appeared in the United States and it is linked to the traditional concept of "spoiled child". Nevertheless, journalist Eva Millet, author of Books Hyper-parenting and Hyper-children: perfect children or sub-children? told us that parents of hyper-children develop special stress that parents of spoiled children do not suffer.

What is the life of a hyper-child?

Hyper-children occupy their lives with extracurricular activities that do not fascinate them. They are very aware of their faults and are treated by their parents as an investment After having spent a lot of money on the education of their children, they think (often unconsciously) that this value must turn into a success for their children.

However, children are aware of many more things than we can imagine and this pressure affects them at all levels. It is as if their life is becoming constant stress in order to respect the expectations of others.

However, there is another facet to this situation: hyper-children are each time more the center of attention of families. As Millet says, "You go to the houses and the photos are no longer those of the grandparents but those of the children who have never become the kings of the house. only one to three children per couple, whereas before they were more numerous, so they were not given so much attention, before they were furniture and now they are altars. "

This over-stimulation generates in children a sense of authority that is not positive for their personal development. Consequently, they are not able to correctly manage their emotions, easily get frustrated and suffer from the anxiety of their parents … In short, they become what Millet calls the "sub-children"; dependent children who can not do anything without the help of their parents.

But, what does a child need?

It is difficult to determine the needs of all children because, as individuals, they each have their own aspirations, desires and expectations. However, one thing is certain: iThey are still forming to be able to face the real world and we can not ask them as much as an adult.

It is for this reason that the aspirations of a parent should never be reflected in children: thinking about their academic career when they are not yet 10 years old is completely irrelevant. We must leave children develop their personality and their tastes. We must also let them fail, discover the limits and learn the fact that they can learn from their mistakes if they wish to go beyond these limits.

As stated by the author, the offer of activities and experiences has expanded exponentially in recent years due to the development of inter-family competitions. Parents or educators wonder about the best school, the most prestigious conservatory of music …

Less money and more love

All of these experiences, classes and camps involve big expenses. Even so, we can not ask children to be aware of this when they are not yet able to understand the principle and value of money. For this reason, instead of worrying about an English teacher because he has the best references to teach a 10 year old child, it is best to let the child develop his relationship in a much more natural way.

Ultimately, children must grow up playing with other children, by putting their skills into practice autonomously.Parents, on the other hand, should not position themselves as a main pillar in the relationship, but be on the side to be present when the child needs it.

It is important to teach them how to overcome situations that do not go as planned. The the role of a father or a mother is not only to advise, it is also to support and especially to love.

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