"The more we do, the more we can do"
Resistance is a type of barrier or conscious or unconscious obstacle that prevents us from moving forward.
These resistances translate into beliefs, emotions and feelings. Many people are resistant to change because of the fear, anxiety or pain that this change may entail.
- 1 What are the factors that create resistance in us?
- 2 The fear of the Unknown
- 3 The lack of information
- 4 The fear of failure
- 5 The fear of disappointing others
- 6 The fear of what will we say
- 7 The fear of being unable to learn or do something
- 8 The laziness
- 9 The comfort zone
- 10 Structural resistances
- 11 The personal resistances
What are the factors that create resistance in us?
The fear of the Unknown
Leaving our "comfort zone" for an enormous desert where we have never set foot, can provoke us in terror and panic.
The lack of information
The fact of not knowing what we can fall on, in other words uncertainty, is one of the greatest fears of the human being.
When we are in uncertainty, we do not feel safe, we can not hold on to anything, and we must go almost blind. However, we must continue at all costs and overcome uncertainty.
The fear of failure
What if things went wrong? And if I failed? And what would others say if I failed? What if they made fun of me? This is one of the most crippling fears that exist. Yet, it is only the fruit of our imagination.
The fear of disappointing others
People who tend to like and value others, are very afraid to disappoint them.
They fear that they will not be loved if something goes wrong, that they are rejected if they say what they think or if they are themselves, and that they may disappoint someone. We must become aware of this fear if we want to overcome it.
The fear of what will we say
In our culture, the "what do we say" is something very decisive. Generally, we are pointed out and we are accused if we do something different from the others.
But at the same time, the society we live in is hypocritical, because it encourages us to be different and to say what we think. This contradiction provokes in us confusion, fear and uncertainty.
The fear of being unable to learn or do something
This fear is reflected in negative thoughts that we impose on ourselves like "I'm not able", "I'm stupid", etc.
The human being exceeds the law of the minimum effort.Therefore, everything that generates an effort already exhausts us.
In order not to change, we leave things as they are, because changing requires effort, and just thinking about it makes us tired. Furthermore, why should I change if I do not go that bad?
The comfort zone
Why leave our "comfort zone" if you feel good? Even if the change is positive and it improves our life, we do not want to take risks.
It's clear that fear is the main factor that activates our resistance. Many of them are mental barriers that we impose on ourselves. In some cases, the unknown and "laziness" prevent us from taking the step towards change.
These are the ones that refer to external changes, to environmental changes.
For example, we face structural resistance when we change subjects or orientation at university, when we change partners, housing, etc.
Another example of external and structural resistance is the subtle maltreatment of women.
Indeed, the environment, culture and society require women to always be beautiful and perfect, to wear heels, to wear makeup, etc.
Obviously, women have the right to be beautiful, if that is their choice. On the other hand, society does not have the right to continually bombard women and subtly maltreat them so that they feel they have no place in society if they do not fit the image that the latter Forge of the woman.
These resistances cause us fears, lack of assurance, failures, and negative feelings imposed by society.
The personal resistances
Personal resistances refer to the three basic pillars of change: love, power and knowing.
We can say "no" to change because it is our right. On the other hand, one must be aware of what this implies.
We may want something, be able to get it, know what will happen and not succeed in having it. There is an obstacle here that we must fight.
Generally, human beings impose mental barriers, which often prevent them from getting something they want and that could make them happy. These barriers have an easy solution.
In addition to using all our strength of will in order to overcome these barriers, the following steps must be taken into account:
- Set goal and result that we hope to achieve.
- List all possible choices to finally retain only one.
- Make a list of things that still need to be done.
- Determine the steps that will have to be taken.
- Know exactly how we will evaluate our progress.
- Perseverebecause it's something very important. If we want something, we must not declare ourselves defeated at the first obstacle we encounter.
- Anticipate what can happen, and know how to react, if things go wrong.
And now … Are you ready for change?
Bear in mind that if there is no malaise, there is no problemand where there is no problem, nothing is done to initiate the change.
Do not forget that you are not alone because you have people around you who are willing to help and support you.
If you ignore something, train, learn, read and learn before you go to the unknown.
Finally, if you love yourself, believe in your successes and encourage yourself. So you will have no trouble defeating your resistance!