At the moment, couples are more fluid than ever. The divorce rate in France is in the upper European range with between 50 and 59 divorces per 100 marriages in 2015. These data, combined with new family realities force us to face situations for which we are not prepared. These include introducing a new partner to our children.
In fact, what should be a source of joy for all members of the family can turn into a difficult moment. The fact of not knowing the reaction of others can push to delay the situation as much as possible, which generally generates a high level of malaise. For this, we provide you here some keys to announce to your children that you have a new partner.
- 1 Introduce a new partner to your children: the steps to follow
- 2 1. Choose carefully who you are going to introduce them to
- 3 2. Explain to your children what is going on
- 4 3. Speak with your new partner
- 5 4. Prepare the first meeting
- 6 5. Integrate your new partner into your life
- 7 5 things kids never forget about their parents
Introduce a new partner to your children: the steps to follow
Generally, a situation so delicate that it requires to be fully managed and introduced with an established plan. For it, the integration of the new person into the life of your children must be progressive, especially if the separation is still recent.
1. Choose carefully who you are going to introduce them to
In the early stages of the relationship, it is very easy to lose one's head and believe that it is the right one or that it is a perfect partner without any flaws. However, this disproportionate perception of the first months usually disappears with the passage of time.
For that, if you start a story with a new partner, it is best to wait a bit before making presentations to your children. For example, you can wait between 6 and 9 months.
2. Explain to your children what is going on
Once you're sure this story is serious, it's time to let your kids know. It may be early to introduce your partner, but you can first explain what is happening in your life.
Children, having never experienced a relationship, may not first understand the fact that you want to go out with someone different from your ex. For this, it is normal at first to feel a certain rejection from them to the idea of your new relationship.
However, with a little patience and taking the necessary distance, your children will eventually accept the fact that you are going out with another person. Once they have taken the plunge, it is high time to introduce your new partner to your children. Before that, it is of course necessary to talk about it calmly as a couple.
3. Speak with your new partner
If your children have had to make an effort to accept the fact that you are going out with another person, it is important that you mention to your partner the possibility of feel some resistance towards him at the first meeting.
It is important for him to understand that the rejection of your children is not related specifically to his person, but to the past of the family and the situation it produces. To facilitate understanding, he can try to understand them by putting himself in their shoes.
4. Prepare the first meeting
The most critical point when announcing a new partner to children is when they first meet. If you spoke with each of the concerned people upstream, the first meeting should be without problembut some difficulties may still arise.
Your mission during the first meeting is to act as an intermediate point between the two parties. You must be able to resolve any possible conflicts that may arise. Assertiveness can become one of the most useful tools.
5. Integrate your new partner into your life
Once your new partner and your children have gotten acquainted, the last step is to gradually program other meetings and more shared moments. So, a cordial relationship can arise between them. This is important in case your new partner is planning to settle in with you or if you want to take a step closer to your relationship.
As you can see, when a new partner comes into your life and you want to introduce it to your children, it's important to build a good foundation for building healthy relationships and avoid as many conflicts as possible.