Is it possible to be passive and aggressive at the same time? Although it seems contradictory, the aggressive passive person does not show his hostility openly but indirectly, using strategies that demoralize and irritate us, but ultimately control us.
This particular mix of confrontational hostility makes passive driving aggressive puzzlingand therefore difficult to fight.
There are several reasons why aggressive passive opts for indirect tactics that are no less harmful or exhausting.
How to deal with attacks without confrontation?
Aggressive passive driving is an indirect form of expression of negative emotions, through the following strategies:
• Antagonism: this disturbing attitude consists of constantly rising against the desires and opinions of others.
• The distant, absent and sullen attitude: although the person is physically, mentally and emotionally present, she is elsewhere. She demonstrates it with signs through non-verbal language, with little eye contact and a hesitant attitude. These are the typical behaviors that characterize it.
• The attitude of victim:the aggressive passive person constantly complains and plays the role of the sacrificed person to gain the compassion and pity of others.
• Procastination: it consists in always pushing away important things or appointments, causing annoyances and stress in others.
• Voluntary errors: the aggressive passive person does things without paying attention and makes mistakes voluntarily, as a form of expression of his dissatisfaction.
Why is she doing this?
The distinct reasons that can cause a person's passive-aggressive behavior are illustrated in these typical situations:
• One of the members of the couple is domineering: If one of the members of the couple imposes on the other, it is common that the latter, if he is not assertive, shows his dissatisfaction by a lack of sexual interest or a lack of enthusiasm for them. shared activities.
• The authoritarian parents: if the parents' style is "military", children may obey, but reluctantly and doing things halfway.
• The tyrannical boss: Although employees are unlikely to risk confronting a boss who has little regard for them, they will make him "pay the bill" otherwise, through mistakes and delays at work.
• Problems within the family: typical situations, such as those of the mother-in-law who does not like the beautiful girl and vice versa, produce tensions that are often expressed indirectly, through two-way comments, scorn or coarseness, to avoid conflict.
How to deal with an aggressive passive person?
Above all, it is important to know that this behavior is a form of manipulation and control, and that we can participate in the game or not.
Here are some strategies to avoid this:
• Do not be impressed:pouting, reluctance or lack of cooperation are signs that should not be overlooked. On the contrary, these should be sent as soon as possible with assurance.
• Give the example : when we express our negative emotions in a timely and assertive manner, we help create open communication to avoid toxic behaviors such as those of the passive-aggressive person.
• Avoid overbearing and oppressive behaviors: one of the main triggers of passive-aggressive behavior is authoritarianism.
Therefore, it is preferable to provide a possibility of dialogue and open communication, even when dealing with negative emotions.
Although we can not always express our emotions directly and we all have sometimes had passive-aggressive behavior, the problem arises when it is established as a model of communication.
Therefore, it is important to be confident and express what we feelas well as letting people feel free to express their emotions.