Loneliness is not just about having no one around you; it is the feeling of being alone and isolated but also all the feelings of sadness that follow.
For many people, this feeling can be explained by not finding love; for others, meeting new people, or even maintaining some connection, is impossible.
Consequences of loneliness
Recent studies have shown that loneliness can have repercussions not only on the mind, but also on physical health.
In fact, people who feel empty, lonely and feel they are not loved, are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease, are more stressed, and have decreased memory and learning ability.
Feelings of loneliness can even lead to depression and suicide.
What to do when you feel lonely?
The solution is not to throw yourself in the arms of the first comer, just to feel less alone. Although this is a very common strategy for people who suffer from loneliness, it ultimately brings only complications and creates conflicts instead of solving the problem.
Finally, this solution will only worsen the initial situation. The real solution is to learn both the art of being alone and the art of being accompanied.
Falling down or getting up?
If there have been recent changes in your personal life; whether because of the death of a loved one, a breakup or just a friend's move; and that you feel lonely, know that you can stand up and take advantage of this new situation.
The art of being alone
Use this step to get to know you better. When you live with someone, you always have to make concessions.
And if your half has a personality stronger than you, it may be that you often have to decide.So take advantage of this moment to focus on yourself.
Claim your identity.
It's time to rediscover your tastes! Which foods do you prefer? How would you like to decorate this room? Which programs do you like to watch? Often you will realize that your tastes have changed or that you are depriving yourself of certain things.
This is an opportunity to gain new knowledge and test new things, learn how to manage your budget or repair the leak from the tap. Discover the schedule that suits you best.
Knowing that you can take care of yourself and that you are able to do it properly will give you an incomparable sense of satisfaction.
Remember that if you leave a relationship, you will need time to get back on your feet emotionally and it would not be reasonable to start a new relationship directly.
This time will allow you to think about what is really important to you, what to look for in your future relationship and what to change to evolve.
In the end, it's a moment of fulfillment and maturity. If you do not know how to be happy by being alone, you will not be happy in a relationship. Nobody will be able to serve as a magic wand and make disappear your problems.
The art of being accompanied
After the art of being alone comes the art of being accompanied. One of the first crucial steps is to have good relationships with your family. Try to make peace with the members from whom you had gone.
This represents a good experience and a kind of personal "challenge". Even if the relationship is not idyllic, you will have done everything to start a discussion and allow communication. If your goal is to maintain a stable emotional relationship, your couple will represent your closest family.
Strengthen existing friendships
If you have trouble maintaining social contact and you even tend to avoid it, set yourself the goal of going out with your friends at least once a week. Try not to sink into isolation.
You can expand your circle of friends by joining a reading group, going to a gym or taking classes on a topic that interests you.
Knowing how to surround yourself with good friends is essential in order to maintain a strong love relationship. After all, marriage is the union of two friends, is not it?
In conclusion, remember that the feeling of loneliness does not come from being alone, but from your way of perceiving a situation. The most serious is that the consequences of this loneliness are devastating, both emotionally and physically.
Do not suffer loneliness, do not be a victim. Shoot some positive and learn to bounce. Set the goal to draw lessons from both the art of being alone, and the art of being accompanied.
Photo courtesy of Hartwig HKD