Henko o へ ん こ う is a Japanese word referring toa transformative change that does not involve the possibility of returning to an initial state.It very often assumes a great progress in our personal growth and a proof that we are capable of everything because it accurately reflects this act of bravery. We are talking about this point of inflection that lifts us beyond fear and concern, transforming our attitude of life.
Beyond what we can believe, few words gather such basic but important concepts as thehenko.To be able to transform, evolve, move forward and expand our level of consciousnessis essential to overcome obstacles, to dissolve the demotivation and to emerge strengthened from situations that present themselves to us.Henkois a representation, that of the fruit of resilience.
"In life, the same thing happens at every key moment, we have to give up some of what we are to become what we really can be, change is not free, of course, and it feeds us. only if it leads us to transformation. "
Change to advance
Many of our difficulties would be solved if we introduced ahenko,a transformative change in our lives. The problem is that most of the time we are not prepared for it. We do not know what to do. Novelty scares us. We know, for example,that some people prefer to stay in their comfort zone,with the same strategies of confrontation, while they do not feel well. In fact, they sometimes even make real efforts to ensure that a change that is supposed to happen in a natural way does not happen.
It is true that we are all afraid of the unknown,what we can not foresee, everything that escapes our calculations and, consequently, our control. When we manage this fear badly, we end up emotionally exhausted because we choose to fall back on ourselves and stay in the same place instead of accepting change. The transformation can be motivated by several things but these are worthless if there are not some basic elements: desire, motivation, conviction.
The risk is printed in our heartbeat; we need to tolerate it at a certain level to move forward: to assume that at some point, none of our feet will touch the ground. But do not be fooled. Any change does not lead to a transformation of our being.We sometimes make first order changesand, in a short time, we find ourselves immersed and stuck in the same dynamic as before.
To grow,to follow a new path, we must introduce a change to a higher level or second-order change,as Paul Watzlawick would say. But what does that mean?
Types of change according toPaul Watzlawick
The experts in systems theories consider that there are two opposing trends when changing. The first is to maintain a stable and stationary state and the second to produce new forms, both derived from the mathematical theory of logical types.
Austrian psychologist Paul Watzlawick named these trends change 1 or first order and change 2 or second order.To explain these two ideas, he used the following example:"A person who has a nightmare can do many things in this nightmare: running, hiding, shouting, etc., but changing one of these behaviors will not end the nightmare."
This type of change is called change 1. These are changes and strategies that are related to the same dynamics of the person and are based on negative feedback.
Paul Watzlawick gave the name ofchange 2 to the qualitative one based on positive feedback.In other words, it increases the deviations and leads to the formation of new structures. If we continue with the previous example, it would be the awakening. The only way out of the nightmare would be a change in the dream, that is to say a change of reality, of perspective.
We can find another example in a frequent case in consultation: parents seek psychological help because their child's academic performance has decreased. These parents have surely tried some strategies such as punishing him, reducing extracurricular activities or going out with friends.
These strategies would be type 1 changes. The problem is that they can not find a solution.The therapist, after analyzing and listening to different members of the family, observes that the child's grandmother and her older sister returned to live at home; this has changed the dynamics of relationships between all members.What is change type 2? The way to bond with the family should be changedto adapt to this new situation.
We can even better understand things by thinking about a personwho began to feel sad, apathetic, demotivated and melancholy.To try to get better, she decided to join the gym club, go out more and start all kinds of creative activities, that is to say type 1 changes. The problem is that, despite all this,she can not get well. She's just able to distract herself. What can she do?Introduce a change of type 2:change your point of view,his vision of reality and manage his feelings. This will really allow him to make a transformative change.
"Change is inevitable, change to live better things is a full time job".
-Adlai E. Stevenson-
Henko : a change, a new destiny
As we see, changing is a multi-dimensional phenomenon, especially if we want it to transcend, to provoke a henko. It is not enough to want to change and to perform a different action: before that,it is necessary to analyze the point of view we have in relation to what is happening to us.
We can think that our vision of reality is the only correct one and that the world must set itself up and behave according to our precepts. However, how can we be so sure? Is it not true that two people can observe the same fact and explain it in a different way? Each of us builds and works with a clean, specific, individual and hardly tradable reality. Therefore,why not go in search of other visions to solve the one that torments us?
It's not easy, it's true. But it is precisely because of the complexity that this implies that we must combine the motivation of the illusion with a touch of calm. Challenging our vision of the world is not something that can be done quickly. We will not be satisfied until we have attained harmony with our ultimate nature, that which is free from all preoccupation or fear.True well-being is only possible by transcending our ego.
A transformative change, ahenko,is a courageous exercisein which we face our comfort, the patterns we have built for years, the ideas that one day made our lives easier. An exercise that makes us confront ourselves.
We are our toughest adversary, but also the one who will teach us the most lessons and we will become stronger if we do not fall into his traps and mental games. Finally, even if the change is a constant in our universe and even if we are aware of it, it is important to evolveto illuminate the paths we use to grow, building on what we have learned and thinking of all that we can discover.
A henko is the opportunity to be reborn through calm and personal strength.