After a few years of living with someone, we have all at least once in our lives realized that certain behaviors and habits of our partner were beginning to bother us. Feet on the table, the abuse of irony … Now, if we look back, we see that this person has always been this way. What happens is that all this went unnoticed because we were in love with an illusion.
The phase in which we fall in love can cause real damage. We become blind and we lose reason until we finally dream of being able to do some madness for the other, which we consider perfect. But we realize then that all this is not real. This perfection exists only in our thoughts. Reality is adulterated by our emotions, our expectations and our illusions. She is not such as we see her.
Fall in love with an illusion
When we think that a person has changed over time, what we should do is ask ourselves if before, we saw it as it always was. Most likely, the answer is no. At the beginning of each relationship, we create an image that leads us to perceive a beauty, a perfection, a marvel incomparable.
Gold, no one is perfect, and that we should all know. However, this image that we create of the other person in our mind, fruit of a deep love, is in conformity with our reality of the moment, or at least with the vision that one has of it. Thus, we end up creating our own lie, ignoring every attitude that bothers us or does not please us. In fact, this is one of the reasons why many people repeat the same patterns of harmful relationships.
"I'd rather be free, I'd rather be alone and go out walking on this mountain of nothing, to continue to cling to false illusions and then wake up on a handful of broken dreams …"
Juan was upset and had enough he hesitated between staying in this relationship or ending it permanently. Everything had exploded. Suddenly, it seemed that nothing else pleased him in the other. His complaints, his manias … All the tense. He wanted to see the situation from another perspective, to realize what had happened in reality, but he could not.
What happened to Juan is thatAt the beginning, everything was wonderful. He saw the other as a beautiful, perfect, responsible and very good being. However, with time and without really knowing why, everything has changed. The person he had fallen for had bad days, which was unbearable for Juan. Mood swings, absurd complaints …
Juan's partner was not comfortable with this relationship or did not know how to manage what was happening outside of the relationship, such as stress at work. However, the problem was that when Juan told him about some of his friends who were also in this situation, he seemed to be referring to two totally different people. Although in reality, none really existed. They were not real.
Juan did not see the other as he was, and he never saw it that way. Initially, the illusion that fueled the relationship only allowed him to see a perfect person. His feelings prevented him from seeing any defect. But he did not see his partner either. His emotions stopped him again. Juan never knew who he really was in front of him.
Being in love with an illusion prevents you from seeing the other person as it really is.Share
Learn to see others
Learning to see others as they are is difficult, but not impossible. With a friend, we usually do not have as many expectations as with the person we are in a relationship with, do not we? And the same goes with our brothers and sisters, if we have any. We see these people as they are, with their parts of shadow and their share of light.
However, when you start a relationship with another person, you usually only see your share of lights initially. But over time, we focus only on its shadow parts. This causes some disorder and leads the relationship to take a rather dramatic turn.
The important thing is to be aware that when one falls in love, the image of the other is deformed and tends towards perfection. Knowing well that this is how things happen and taking them into account during this time opens the door to the other reality.where the person is a set of lights and shadows.Moreover, it is important to bear in mind that just as the other has certain attitudes and other behaviors that we like, there will be others that we will not share at all.
We must not feel guilty for falling in love with an illusion. Most of our beliefs about romantic love make things happen that way. But as we become aware of this and become aware of it, we can do something about it. And you, have you ever fallen in love with an illusion?