We spend a lot of our time feeling guilty and worried. Often, these two emotions disconnect us from the present moment; we feel guilty because of something we have done and we are worried about what we could do, forgetting the present.
Two bad habits: guilt and worry
Guilt and worry are part of our bad habits, and even if they are two different emotions, they are actually two extremes that can be put on the same level.
Indeed,when we feel guilty because of something, we do not take advantage of the present moment because we live through of something that belongs to the past. On the other hand, when we worry, we live through something that could possibly happen in the future, and over which we can not have any control. But these two emotions have one thing in common: they disconnect us from the present.
Regret something that happened yesterday and be afraid of what could happen to us tomorrowthat's enough to go crazy. Many people feel bad about something they should not have done, or are scared just by thinking of things that can happen to them. This description may correspond to each of us, without exception.
The guilt process
Society constantly sends us messages of guilt and concern, and in general we have been raised in such a way that for us these emotions are normal.
Someone sends a message that we remember that we have not always done the right thing by acting or not acting in such a way, by feeling or not feeling such emotion, or by saying or not saying that thing. It is by feeling uncomfortable in our lives that we respond to this message, and so we become machines to feel guilty.
Guilt can be one of the most useless emotions we can feel. Much of our energy is wasted feeling guilty of things that happened in the past, and we persist in living through things that are no longer connected to the present. Yet what is done is done because we can not change the past.
Learn from our past experiences
You have to know the difference between guilt and lessons learned from past experiences. Guilt, as we have already said before, is a disconnect with the present, which can lead to a benign malaise like a deep depression. It forces us to act today because yesterday we did not have the right behavior.
It is wasting our energy to feel guilty because of something that has already happened that we consider to be useless and detrimental to ourselves.
But learning from past experiences allows us to avoid certain behaviors in the future, and encourages us to learn from our mistakes while continuing to move forward … which is not the case when we feel guilty. Learning from our mistakes is something healthy and necessary for our personal growth, because it allows us to move forward.
Some tips to no longer feel guilty
Guilt is a useless emotion that keeps us from moving forward and enjoying the present moment. That's why it can be of great help to try to see the past as something immutable. A feeling of guilt, whatever it is, can not allow us to solve a problem, because we can not change the past.
– Determine precisely what you are fleeing into the present when you live in the past. So, the more time passes, the less you feel guilty.
– Forgive yourself for some things you may have done and hidden from others for fear of disturbing them. You must approve your own actions, and so will the guilt that you may feel when others do not approve of them.
– Keep a logbook where you will list all the situations in which you felt guilty, by pointing out that because you are anxious because of the past, you have lost precious time and ruined the present. Acting in this way will allow you to deeply analyze your guilt.
– Show your loved ones, as well as those who have been able to manipulate you by using your guilt, that you are able to cope with the disillusionment of your behavior. The result will be a long time coming, but you will realize that things have changed when they see that they can not force you to feel guilty.
Go forward ! Use the past as a springboard instead of bogging down.