He is very romantic oftalk about the couple with soft words and inflamed affection details. This is one of the most beautiful aspects of this type of relationship. Nevertheless, they tend to occupy a more and more restricted place in this world of two over time.
Many expectations are readjusted when the couple is confronted with the ordinary of everyday life. Even if love lasts,the daily remains borrowed from small difficulties to be resolved. The problems begin if we do not do it.
"A big wedding does not happen when the" perfect couple "unites, and that happens when an imperfect couple learns to appreciate their differences."
Cohabitation strengthens the bond. But she also gives rise to situations that may deteriorate. Both members of the couple have different backgrounds, customs and ways of acting. Gathering and adjusting both ways of life is not always easy.
In addition, love also changes over days, weeks, and years. There are times when it seems to have disappeared. The crises appear and with them the question of whether to pursue together. The couple is always built on an implicit contract. Should it be made explicit to protect the link between these erosions and these crises? ?
The implied contract of the relationship
Every couple needs agreementsto live together. It is common for the latter to intervene spontaneously, in no particular order. Partial pacts are formulated as different situations arise. And everyone decides to comply or not.
Most chords are given implicitly. These agreements are not always just or reasonable. One spouse often gives way, without conviction, to the demands or negligence of the other simply because he does not want a conflict or does not consider it a lost cause. This does not mean that he feels comfortable with the situation.
Cohabitation always generates tensions. It becomes critical, however, when one of the spouses does not fulfill his role. It can be small tasks or daily management, or deeper aspects such as loyalty, attention and consideration for the other, or availability.
Pacts are often broken implicitly in many areas. We then argue that they did not exist. That we did not understand them well.Implicit is not the best option for making chords.
Some couples propose to change these implicit game rules for others that are expressed by a contract.These agreements go far beyond knowing who walks the dog or who cleans the bathroom on weekends. They cover topics such as the penalties that will be applied in case of infidelity, or what kind of compensation will be charged if gestures of emotional abandonment occur.
The newspaperThe New York Times recently published the testimony ofa couple having established a normative volume. In other words, a contract containing a set of rules to guide them. It deals with the distribution of time and tasks to issues related to money and the standards to be applied in case of illness, to guests at home and dialogues on thorny issues. The couple who testifies declare that the result was spectacular.
Would it be appropriate for each couple to draft a contract reflecting their own code of conduct? A regulation ensuring greater harmony and takingcare of the relationship?Is it a way of subtracting spontaneity, or a realistic way of dealing with the fact that love also involves decisions and will?
The discredited midpoint
This type of couple regulation may be a very viable option in a society like the United States. It is likely that such an agreement is not easily accepted in Latin cultures. However, we can not deny that this could be valid.
Thecohabitation, with anyone, is much more harmonious when the rules of the game are clear to all parties, and are freely performed. This avoids unnecessary conflicts. This promotes a civilized way of dealing with obligations and duties. Agreements accepted and realized certainly help the couple to preserve a good cohabitation.
The love of a couple, however, is much more than an organizational agreement. There are many feelings, emotions and expectations of which we are never fully aware but which mark certain aspects of the relationship. The love of a couple will never be reduced to a catalog.There will always exist in all human links a terrain marked by uncertainty, beyond the control.