Life in society is based on biological foundations. To live in a group, the human being enjoys greater security, and a better chance of survival, by collaborating with the rest of his fellow creatures.
However, if society acts for the preservation of the clan or the species, the human being as an individual can behave in a totally different way.
It is very simple to be aware of this fundamental difference in behavior by flipping through any history textbook: the manipulation of one or more individuals by one or the other is one of the pillars behind the foundation of all the empires that dominated the world.
Manipulation is the "daily bread" of society in which we live, and each of us will have practiced it or suffered it at least once during its existence.
Learning to detect emotional manipulation helps to avoid it. But, at first, it is important to know what this manipulation consists of.
Detect manipulation, and do not feel guilty
- "Do what you want " : in a power relationship between two people, the one who seeks to gain the most benefits at the expense of the other may use threats against the other, telling them that they will lose very important things if they do not do not obey him.
The most subtle manifestation of this manipulation is when one of your relatives tells you that if you do not do something, your relationship will suffer.
- "If you do not do it, me either": Behind this statement, which may seem well-meaning, lies a fierce manipulation. The one who utters this sentence calls on the other's ability to empathize, in order to benefit from it for himself. In its most extreme manifestation, this "self-punishment" produces a "self-mutilation" in the manipulator, to soften the person he manipulates.
- "It's good, it does not matter": after this affirmation, a long silence can usually be heard, and a body language of anger is born in the manipulator. It is a technique whose sole purpose is to make others feel guilty.
- "After all that I did for you": it is one of the most used manipulations in our society. Going on the ground of "I give to receive" is a very effective way of making the person you want to manipulate feel guilty.
- "Without you I am nothing " : Victimization is a very basic way of making someone feel guilty, but it is a very effective way.