Losses, disappointments, rejections, betrayals, misfortunes … We know thatrelationships, like bones, can also break.However, these fractures do not always heal as quickly as we would like. Time itself does not help us recover, everything hurts and almost nothing relieves us … The emotional intelligence to treat these wounds is a good resource to close these internal scars little by little.
Franklin D. Roosevelt said that when we reach the end of a rope, there is only one option left: knot and wait.Living the end of something that kept us moored in a firm and safe place always produces anxiety.
We feel that our whole being is rushing into a formless void. However, instead of neglecting ourselves and letting ourselves go, we have to knot and wait. This feeling of fear and helplessness will eventually fade.
"Do not rush, calm down, do some work on yourself before falling into despair of a break-up, listen to yourself, take care of yourself, give yourself some time and love yourself enough to continue to breathe, to no longer need someone who is no longer there and does not want to be with you ".
-Russ Von Hoelscher-
Life is an unpredictable experience, we know it. A trip in which we have to face peaks and cross arid plateaus. The journey is sometimes painful and we often think that we are not able to overcome so many reversals and falls on the way.But whether we like it or not, we are forced to have a basic survival kit to deal with all these unforeseen events more effectively.
Emotional intelligence provides us, as always, with precious resources to better navigate these difficult moments.Let's discover them now.
Emotional intelligence to heal the wounds of our affective relationships
Emotional intelligence to heal wounds from broken or fractured relationships through unexpected loss or other traumatic eventswe will offer two types of very concrete tools.The first will allow us to manage this pain in a healthier, creative and invigorating way. The second will help us recover (and improve) our healing ability to continue to enjoy positive relationships and interactions.
The emotional pain generated by many of these events very often pushes us to remain stuck in very negative patterns of behavior and thought.These can, in the long run, lead to a psychological disorder (depression, anxiety …).
Otherwise,our interpersonal development is also affected.We stop trusting others, we enter into cycles of marked frustration in which it is very difficult for us to recreate strong and healthy relationships with others.
Thus, in clinical practice, people who take therapy usually do so because of problems in their emotional relationships. Many patients have to deal with the omnipotent shadow of abandonment (you always end up leaving me, something in me pushes the people I like the most to go away …).Others suffer because of a non-reciprocal love and a lotremain stuck in painful and toxic relationships, without knowing how to react.
Let's take a closer look at the strategies that can help us better cope with these situations.
Connect to our emotions in a healthy way
Emotional intelligence to heal wounds tells us that we need to learn to connect to our inner worlds in a healthier way.A recurring fact that we normally experience when dealing with a break-up, a loss or a complex affective situation is to focus exclusively on pain.On suffering. On the disappointment that hurts and blocks us.
- By doing this, we are only widening the gulf of bitterness.
- We know that these negative emotions are there and that they have a very concrete origin. Therefore,once we have identified and accepted them, we must channel and transform them to turn them in our favor.It is time to regulate them, to prevent them from blocking us. We must give them dynamism so that they let us react.
- If you feel rage, you must channel it. If you feel sad, ease it gradually until it hurts less and allows you to get up. And if you feel fear (because of a toxic relationship), ask for help and support to cope with this source of anxiety and feel safe.
We must remember that the disorderly and chaotic accumulation of emotions drives us to display dysfunctional and painful patterns of behavior.Let's be able to apply emotional intelligence to heal and order, identify, channel and use emotions in our favor.Share
Empathy with oneself and personal safety
Emotional intelligence to heal wounds focuses especially on a special part of empathy. Nevertheless, we are referring to this ability to connect to ourselves. To see our wounds in a more compassionate, meticulous and focused on a solution, a healing.
- After a break-up or other painful and traumatic event, we must recover personal security.Thus, firm, open and conscious determination to repair every broken corner, every fragmented piece through forgiveness and self-affection is essential to move forward a little more each day.
- If we focus exclusively on our suffering, we condemn ourselves to walk in circles.The pain will eventually separate from us to take control, to fill every space, every fiber and every corner of our reality.And that's something we absolutely must avoid.Empathize with ourselves and set an action plan.
Emotional healing as the essence of personal growth
We act properly when we focus on feelings and sensations as they appear.It must be something fluid, something that awakens this innate intelligence to heal the body and mind. This is a process similar to digestion. Each experience can serve us as the essence for personal growth.
If we let rage, disappointment or despair settle in us, we will fall sick. Our mission is to evacuatethe effects of abandonment, a non-reciprocal love or the anguish of an unhappy relationship.They must be treated in a healthy way to give us the opportunity to grow in maturity and responsibility.
To conclude, as we can see, emotional intelligence to heal wounds is a necessary resource to better manage difficult situations. It is a way of taming our fears to remember our strengths and this compelling need to get back on our feet to move forward with more confidence.
It's not a simple process and we will not achieve results in two days or a month.Effectively applying these strategies often involves making a change of consciousness,to generate a stimulating change that will undoubtedly affect all areas of our lives.Because when someone understands his emotions and turns them in his favor, everything changes.