Emotional insecurity: when lack of confidence overwhelms us

Emotional insecurity: when lack of confidence overwhelms us

Navigating through life with emotional insecurity is doing it with a great burden. Doubt of everything, and especially of ourselves, is one of the great obstacles to our personal fulfillment. To walk in fear, without confidence and undecided is like trying to keep the balance on a tightrope, on which we juggle with a thousand and one things not to fall.

This insecurity may have always been with us, the result of an unhappy childhood marked by the absence of feelings of protection and security. Or, perhaps, it was born precisely because of the opposite, that is, because of excessive overprotection that made us feel inferior and invalid. Perhaps this insecurity was born of a very traumatic situation that hit us hard.

Emotional insecurity is the big enemy of progress, the big boycott of self-esteem and the biggest obstacle to building strong bonds with others. If we let it invade us, it will seize us and end up canceling our will by criticism and continuous questioning. However, we can always protect ourselves and, in the worst case, begin to rebuild the sense of lost security. Go further.

"Mistrust is the mother of insecurity."

-Aristophane-


What is emotional insecurity?

Emotional insecurity results from a constant doubt about oneself, on his own abilities, on his own feelings and on his way of acting. It is a state of constant doubt that paralyzes and also awaits validation by others, most of the time, as a bargaining chip to achieve a false tranquility.

Gold, we can not forget that life is essentially insecurity and uncertaintyIn fact, the Spanish philosopher and essayist Ortega y Gasset would say that this is radical insecurity, since it can cease to exist at any time. The problem is that we are not aware of it. We spend the day planning and organizing, creating illusions for the future with the certainty that everything will happen as we hope. And all of a sudden, everything breaks in a thousand pieces, we get out of the way or simply, it's over and we have to start a new one.

Knowing that everything can change in seconds can help us live in other ways, for example, more intensely. However, that does not mean that we adopt insecurity as a companion of our routinebut just that we take it into account. Because, sooner or later, she will appear on stage. And you better be ready to face it.

Does that mean it's better to be anxious and take nothing for granted? No, just remember it from time to time to avoid living in imaginary worlds. However, excessive emotional insecurity also hurts us because, in addition to invalidating any sense of self-confidence, it can spread to any area of ​​our lives. Because how can we move forward when we are sure of nothing?

The important thing is to know how to differentiate between general insecurity as an external indicator and emotional insecurity., a much more specific internal state that concerns us and affects the way we value ourselves. In this way, it is important to keep in mind that change is permanent, just as uncertainty is normal and can even help us to see life in a different way; but it's also important to trust each other and not expect others to say what we need to do or how we feel good about ourselves.

What characterizes a person who is not sure of herself?

To better understand the world of emotional insecurity and how it affects us, it's important to know what it means to be an insecure person. Here are some of the most common characteristics of people who have adopted this state as part of themselves. Here they are :

  • A fear of critics, judgments and assessments of others
  • The constant need to show their achievements and receive praise and attention for feeling empowered and able
  • A tendency to perfectionism and competitiveness
  • A very defensive attitude
  • Low self-esteem
  • Attempts to spread doubt and insecurity to others
  • Frequent use of false modesty
  • The strong presence of a lack of self-confidence

"Mistrust is a sign of weakness."

-Indira Gandhi

Insecure people act and think often strongly conditioned by a constant internal war, a struggle between their need to stand out and prove to others that they are valid and a deep sense of disability and disability.In fact, in the most serious cases, these people are nothing if the others do not value them.

The Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler proposed the concept of an inferiority complex as an identification of this type of person. He said insecure people had a constant struggle for superiority that could even have a negative impact on their relationships, because they could feel happy if they made others unhappy. He also described this type of behavior as typical of neuroses.

However, not everyone in a situation of insecurity is characterized by this. It all depends on the degree of mistrust they have with respect to their past abilities or achievements.

The keys to managing emotional insecurity

It is possible to reduce constant doubt about ourselves and thus ban the negative insecurity that governs us. The important thing is to know that the effort must come from us and that if we are accustomed to underestimate ourselves, this process will take time.

Believing in oneself is one of the strongest pillars that can be built to avoid falling and to be overcome by discomfort, but it requires a daily and constant work. To do this, we must consider a number of aspects:

  • Avoid comparisons
  • Accept both our weaknesses and our strengths
  • Do not take personal criticism
  • Healing the wounds of the past, those who have gradually grown the seeds of anxiety and constant doubt
  • Develop a sense of humor
  • Do not seek the approval of others
  • Valuing every progress, every success, every step
  • Abandon the belief that one must be perfect
  • Take care of our internal dialogue

Knowing the way, why not go? We value is one of the greatest gifts we can offer. Trust in ourselves and in our abilities is a bridge to personal growth.

The power of attraction comes from self-confidence

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