Emotional blackmail is a form of control involving guilt, duty, or fear. The goal of the manipulator is that the other act according to his interests.
This manipulation of the will gives rise to negative feelings in the manipulated person, since he must submit to the wishes of the manipulator.
We have all been in such a situation, whether as a victim or, on the contrary, as an executioner. But, why do we manipulate and / or let others manipulate us?
Some relationships are parasitized by emotional blackmail, and it is sometimes difficult to know who the manipulator is and who is manipulated. Generally, the assignment of roles is done unconsciously, which does not promote the visibility of manipulation.
Phrases like "assume your decision" or "if you loved me, you would not do that" show how sometimes, some messages that a priori seem harmless can finally carry a certain load of intentionality, the goal being to to scare the other and therefore to push him to act according to the desires of the manipulator.
Manipulation is generally associated with Machiavellian, crooked and selfish people. But in reality, we have all used some type of emotional blackmail.
We are manipulative when we try to have control over what the other person can say or do, as long as we do not give him the choice or destroy his self-esteem. The goal of emotional blackmail is often to gain the upper hand in a relationship.
Protect yourself from the manipulator
All levels of blackmail are not equal or meet the same goals. Some are innocent and almost harmless, while others are so crooked that they can end up destroying each other psychologically.
Manipulation at its peak can leave emotional pain very painful for the wearer.
The emotional manipulator places himself as a victim, invaded by fear and lack of self-confidence. He puts his weaknesses on the back of the manipulated, causing him to develop negative feelings.
The manipulator accepts, most often for fear of the consequences, to submit to the wrath of the manipulator, or to act under his threats.
Protecting yourself from a manipulator then depends on you. If you feel that you are being manipulated, the best thing is to adopt a passive attitude. Do not refuse, but do not accept all his requests either.
This truce will allow you to take the time to observe your emotions in themselves. If you feel guilt, trouble, or frustration, then you are most likely manipulated. Nobody has the right to dictate your actions; do not let anyone submit your will to emotional blackmail.