Who said that relations were built only between two people? Lately, thanks to the release of traditional social roles,many people discovered that monogamy was not the only option.Thus, terms like "relational orientation" have arisen. This refers to the fact that, just as we feel attracted to one sex (or gender), we also have a preference for the type of relationship that we like the most.
If you are discovering your relational orientation, you will find in this article some ideaswhich will make you discover the 7 types of non-monogamy that exist.Study them and see if any of them seem appropriate!
The 7 types of non-monogamy
You have probably already had monogamous relationships. Think about it for a moment, think about how you felt (or are feeling now) in this relationship. When you think about your monogamous experience,you may feel that something is wrong or does not stick with you completely.It may be time to re-examine how you live your love stories.
We will therefore see the 7 main types of non-monogamy that exist. Of course,there are many other ways to have an open relationship.However, the majority of people who practice non-monogamy do so in these different ways.
A swinger relationship refers to a main couple, as in the style of monogamy. However,both members exchange partners with other people.
The main difference of swinger relations with other types of non-monogamy is that, in this case,the members of the relationship can only have sex with a new person if their spouse is in front of them.
These are people who have a very high sexual desire and who have a lot of fantasies. In general, those who define themselves as "liberal"do not have established rules as to how or when they can have sex with others.They talk about their feelings when they arise, with their spouse.
This type of relationshipcan involve different ways of living one's relationship.For example, some people who practice liberal relations have group sex or swing sex. Others, on the other hand, are open only to fortuitous encounters, if they present themselves spontaneously.
Sexual or polysexual non-exclusivity
Some people want to maintain sex with different partners. However, instead of deceiving others,they want to do it consensually by communicating their intentions and actions.In this case, we are talking about polysex or sexual non-exclusivity.
The main characteristic is that the relationships formed by these people tend to be fortuitous. In general, polysexuals consider thatthey can not love more than one person at a time.
Polyamor differs from polysex in the sense that those who practice it seek to have several real-life partners. So, those who opt for polyamorconsider themselves capable of falling in love with more than one person.
To achieve good relations of this kind, advocates of polyamor speak of the importance ofgood communication and expression of emotions. In this way, all members of the multiple relationship will have their emotional needs met.
Hierarchical polyamory is a type of non-monogamous relationship where one has various stable partners butsome are more important than others.We therefore speak of a primary relationship, a secondary relationship, or even a tertiary relationship.
For others,to speak of a hierarchy goes against the idea of polyamour.Advocates of the non-hierarchical version consider that they can love all their partners in the same way. No one would have any privilege over the other members of the multiple relationship.
Finally,some people prefer to enjoy their relationships without tagging them.Practitioners in relationship anarchy believe that the rules in a relationship only serve to hinder the emotional bond.
Does one of these models seem appropriate to you?
Human beings have the ability to think, question, discuss and compare, in addition to other mental abilities that allow them to develop as people. Gold,they rarely use them to choose the type of relationship that really suits them.
It is therefore important to use our mental abilities to ask ourselves what we would like to live in our relationships.So, if you think that non-monogamy could be done for you, ask yourself the following questions:
- How do you feel about the monogamous relationships you have maintained?
- Are you anxious about the idea of having an affective-sexual relationship with one person?
- Do you believe that not loving a person exclusively is not "natural"?
- Do you feel or have you felt a sexual and emotional desire for other people while you are / were in a relationship?
- Do you think something is missing in your monogamous relationship?
- Did you ask for a "break" for your monogamous companion because you felt like you were choking?
- Have you been unfaithful more than once? How did you feel ?
- Do you feel identified with people who talk about one of the 7 types of non-monogamy?
- Did you end monogamous relationships and did you start others very quickly? (serial monogamy)
- How would you feel if you could have multiple relationships at the same time? If you could share experiences and knowledge with several people?
- Are you relieved to know that you can be with many people at once?
If you answered the majority of these questions in the affirmative, it is likely that your personality or needs will not be filled with monogamous relationships. The good news is thatwe live in a time when we are free to choose.It is not a question of deciding the best type of relationship but of seeing which one is best for us at this point in our lives.
Some necessary precisions on non-monogamy
As happens in different aspects of life, society generates certain beliefs about different realities. Since Western culture is built on the basis of monogamy,some misconceptions about relationships that do not rely on this principle continue to exist in the minds of many people.
Here are some details needed to understand some issues of non-monogamy:
- According to many research,the human being is not monogamous by nature.
- People who do not choose monogamy are no less satisfied, nor more neurotic or dysfunctional than monogamous people.
- Non-monogamy is not a way to avoid commitment.
- Having open relationships does not mean being undecided or confused.
- Open relationships do not just happen between young people or inexperienced people.
The different types of non-monogamous relationships, compared to the more traditional ones, imply a more flexible negotiation.There are more possibilities in each of them,according to the interpretation of the people who practice them.
Open his mind to the existence of these 7 types of non-monogamycan help you find the relationship model that's right for you.