All relationships are based on exchanges. We exchange tips, opinions, information, gifts, favors, etc.
But often, we do not think about the energy exchange that occurs in our relationships.It is certainthat some people leave us with a smile on their face, while others do us the opposite effect, they depress us and we pump all our energy …
Although it may seem strange to you, in the jargon of some psychologists, these people are usually called "vampires of energy".
In reality, this name suits them very well, because like these fantastic creatures, these individuals can turn you into a sucker of energy.
After this little unpleasant note, it should be noted that the majority of these individuals are unaware of the harm they are doing.
They simply have a way of being that is plaintive, they seek to be pityed by others, or to hurt others because they feel themselves hurt.
How to defend ourselves against these thieves or energy vampires?
According to psychologist Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter, the first step to protect yourself from this category of individuals is to identify them, and to perform a self-analysis to find out if you are one of them or not .
Then you need to determine how much time you want to spend with such people.
Craig Harper, the professional speaker specializing in the field of personal surge, says in his articleProtect Yourself Against Energy Vampires (Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires) thatafter identifying these people, we must resolve to change the way we communicate or interact with them.
Indeed, we can not allow their words to affect us in the same way that a friend's words would do.
When a friend tells you his problems, you worry about him, you put yourself in his place, you offer him your solidarity by spending all your energy to find a solution. However,with these vampires, you will spend your energy in vain.
Look for the traps and avoid them
Most of the time, these people always want to have the same conversation (although in general it is more like a monologue than anything else) about their problems, but they are never ready to accept your advice or put it into practice.
In the most extreme cases, although it may seem like a little harsh treatment, it is best to avoid this type of person.
In the article mentioned above, Harper shares with his readers a technique that worked for him. "When an energy vampire comes into my office, I stand up as if I'm about to leave, I spend a few minutes, and if I realize they still want to talk to me about their subject of predilection, I start walking to end the conversation. "
It seems rather unfriendly to you, no? Think about the following:we all want to be understanding, and help our colleagues or our family. However, some people just do not want help.
Indeed, they are only trying to unburden themselves and to transmit to you some of the emotional charge they carry.
They only think to relieve the spirit, without really making that they exhaust you completely …
This is not the definition of a true friendship. Friends give and receive. So defend your share of energy and protect it!
Image courtesy of Hartwig HKD