Chaos is one of the great allies of the narcissists.Without this state of generalized disorder, a narcissist can not reign as he wishes, consciously or unconsciously. Where there is order, it is nothing. He can no longer spread these dramas he is so used to.
Let us remember that narcissism is characterized by an excessive exaltation of the ego.This is not a sign of excessive self-esteem but oversized expectations of the self. A dream of grandeur facing oneself. A desire to stand out or be above others.
A dose of narcissism is healthy in adults.It helps the individual to find cohesion and reaffirm himself in the face of the world. However, when this pseudo self-esteem is excessive, we see a pathological narcissism emerge. In the most extreme cases, the narcissist becomes unable to give real value to others. These become the instruments of his self-exaltation.
Chaos and narcissists
Pathological narcissists display a whole series of behaviors designed to satisfy this desire for self-exaltation.All of these behaviors have one thing in common: they sow chaos, to varying degrees. It is in disorder that narcissists manage to "be someone" and control others.
Chaos is the hallmark of leaders or leaders who constantly give orders and counter-orders.From those who create absurd measures, measures that hinder activities rather than facilitate them. Those who do not communicate clearly and create confusion; if they lead to a good result, they will get all the credit. And if they lead to mistakes, they can blame others.
Narcissists also promote chaos in more everyday or familiar situations.Think of those friends, relatives, or spouses who tell you one thing and make another, for no apparent reason.They tell you that they will help you and when you need them, they are not there. These people assure you that they will arrive at such time and appear to another. They play with your expectations and remove all balance. Finally, they create chaos and, thanks to this, have a margin of control over others.
Narcissists and dramatism
In the case of pathological narcissists, chaos is often accompanied by dramas.The leader or leader we are talking about accompanies his mess of indignation and concern shows. He will be upset or hysterically surprised by everything that happens. As if it was not him who had done everything to achieve these uncertain results.
The person who does not appear to respect a commitmentwill probably not apologize. On the contrary: it will invent a whole drama.It is common to see these people victimize themselves.
Basically, they create situations that allow them to feel like the kings of the world.They try to put themselves in the center of everything but do not take their responsibilities. Instead, they create intense show scenes and emotional expressions.
The effect on others
In one way or another, narcissists use chaos to break people down psychologically.They create situations, most of the time unconsciously, so that others are filled with anxiety. To make them a little crazy. If they succeed, they succeed what they have always wanted: to be decisive in the lives of others, even if it is in a bad way and through traps.
However, in this type of psychological reality, there are always two distinct faces. On one side, we find the narcissist who sows chaos and manipulates others. On the other, this same narcissist is a victim of his own pathology.Narcissists are more likely to feel disenchanted with life.In other words, they are more prone to depression.
This is due to the lack of authenticity of their actions. They are, in a way, locked inside themselves.They fail to make deep and meaningful connections to others and depend too much on them. If they succeed in manipulating them, they satisfy that image of themselves which they lack. And if they do not succeed, they easily feel a sense of inferiority, lack of interest in life and frustration.