Not everyone has had the chance to live a happy childhood. Unfortunately, some people have had difficult and sometimes overflowing experiences, which in a way have left a deep mark in them, able to permeate various areas of their lives. In childhood, some of the threads of our psychological life are woven together. For that, we must ask ourselves, can we be happy after having lived a traumatic childhood?
This is not an appreciation, but a proven fact. It is very difficult to be happy after having a traumatic childhood, certainly, but not impossible. This is due to the fact that during the first years of our lives, we are particularly emotionally susceptible. As we have said, experiences leave a deep trace. Both the positive and the negative print an indelible seal in our lives.
"The true homeland of man is childhood."
-Rainer Maria Rilke-
The child is a highly vulnerable person. It depends on the adults and the primary environment in which it is located. He does not rely on any physical or psychological remedies to understand and go through what he lives. He can easily oversize it, distort it, arriving to feel sad or overwhelmed by circumstances.
The effects of a traumatic childhood
The different forms of child abuse or maltreatment leave a trace with long-term consequences. We can not go wrong on this. However, this does not mean that it is not possible to be happy after having a traumatic childhood. What this implies, however, is to do a lot of extra work to get there.
The traumas of childhood make it difficult to live in peace as adults. Self-esteem is damaged, as is self-confidence. Sometimes it is almost impossible to love, or to be loved. Probably is it not possible either to express one's feelings or to feel the pain consciously?
It is also common for a feeling of unhappiness, disillusionment or sadness to develop. With this backdrop, it is difficult to build and sustain a positive attitude. O, we must fight against all this to be happy after having a traumatic childhood.
How to be happy after having a traumatic childhood?
It is possible that these traces of the past never disappear. The good news is that by doing a good job on yourself, it is possible to be happy, despite the echo of these sufferings in childhood, who will hardly know a total consolation. In fact, overcoming this painful past is something that usually results in more advanced, more sensitive and more constructive people.
There are some key things to do to be successful after having a traumatic childhood. These are the following:
- Learn about the effects of trauma: it can greatly help you to inform you, through serious sources, on the nature and consequences of childhood trauma. All this information will bring clarity and help you understand how you feel.
- Take care of yourself and protect yourself: it is very common for people who have had a difficult childhood to tend to reduce the importance of self-care and self-protection. Do not allow this to happen. Take care of yourself physically, psychologically and socially. Treat yourself as someone who needs protection.
- Cultivate good friendships: Carrying a traumatic trace often leads to isolation and difficulty in building relationships with others. Fight against this. Cultivate friendships and give them an important place in your life. Do not isolate yourself.
- To keep away from people who hurt you: you must not be tolerant of those who make you feel bad or who generate negative feelings in you. As soon as a person corresponding to this profile comes to you, take your distance and stay away from her.
- Recognize and re-interpret your past: to avoid thinking about the events that have occurred does not help you to fade their existence, quite the contrary; the best thing to do is to rethink everything that has happened by adopting an attitude of acceptance and understanding.
Overcoming the past
In the case of childhood injuries, it is advisable to consult a professional. As strong and intelligent as we may be, nothing replaces the effect of good therapy. Having the professional support of a third party helps to make this path towards understanding and inner balance.
Having a difficult childhood gives rise to a different perspective on life. It can be a disability or a plus.It all depends on how we approach it and how it is managed.
It is not easy to find the motivation to undertake the task of repairing a painful past. However, it is worth doing, because it is from here that emanates personal development to achieve well-being.